My ex husband is a somewhat very intimidating individual even though he likes to say that I am more scary than any drill sergeant he’s ever met in his life, worst than his mom, and calls me the female hitler. We both have a kind of extreme like/hate kind of relationship.. .the kind that brings our ugliest side out....
He’s 6’0, with a 220 lbs muscular build with a loud and booming voice and if you didn’t know what kind of issues he had, you’ll probably think he’s some handsome bad boy, but I can assure you he’s far from that.
He’s a fitness nut with huge amount of followers on social media. I never follow him and can careless what he do with his life. But he likes to brag about it to me. Most times you’ll see him in plaid button ups, they are his favorites and he’ll look like a lumberjack. With his long beard growing, looking like some polished small town red neck guys whose trying really hard fit into the big city life...
In his younger years he was a real player and after our separation, he spend all his time chasing young girls. He ducks a new girl every day, he would say to me bc they were so easy. And he ducked so much that it was enough pussy for this life time, he would brag.
Girls throw themselves at his feet all the time, especially Filipino girls, if only they know what he really is... but he’s good at hiding it. He can seem like your typical dream guy, very passionate about survivalist stuff, working out and has a tough military attitude. And he does have a good side to him, it’s a side that you only see once in a while, if your lucky, you’ll get glimpse of it. He can be motivating, but will never show you he cares. It’s weird like that. Sometimes you have to really watch what you say and how you step around him like your on some thin glass that will break. You spend so much time watching your words that it mentally exhausts you. That was my life with him.... with him you have to be serious all the time.. you have to have his back no matter what, you had to watch what you do and think all the time. There was a creed of some kind you had to follow and he expects that from you every time whether you acknowledge it or not and that is that you have to stand by him, even when you know he’s wrong... go against him and you’ll know what’s up...
A lot of childhood issues/traumas turned him into that slightly ugly person. That makes him unhinged at times, that makes him lose his temper very often. Everyone of his family members is afraid of him to some degree, most watch themselves around him, some even disowned him bc he had that slightly cocky ass attitude that can turn you off, or will come off threatening. And no one ever had the guts to stand up for him bc they are afraid he will duck them up bc he had in the past.
For the most part most people cannot tolerate him much or for long. If you saw him coming down around the bend, that usually mean trouble! Even my friends are afraid to come by the house bc of him, he’s made them cried before, scared them off and made people feel uncomfortable and intimidated. He has a serious and nasty attitude that no one can put up with...I got fed up with it, so I learned never to back down... I alway stood up against him... I learned to never show him my weak side, never will I cry in his face...over time I developed a I don’t care attitude. Being married to him feels like getting dressed up to go to a riot every night and preparing going to a battle every morning.
People always wonder how we got together. We were so odd together. We were so different, in our values and how we were raised. There’s nothing that we have in common. We were the complete opposite of each other, like day and night......... ..but being with him taught me a lot about myself, how strong I really am and how brave and courageous I can be....and when you’ve reached that level, it can change you, morphs you into another kind of being...
When he can’t be dealt with anymore they all call for me... his mom, girlfriends etc. only I can unhinge him when he’s at his worst. But even sometimes I’ll have to pass bc I have a life to live and I’m tired dealing with it.