Life is going by way too fast! Emphasize on "too fast!" It makes me sad because, I wish life could slow down so it takes longer for me to turn a year older. But it feels like I blink and another year rolled around already, another summer is almost over! WTF! Seriously. Ugh.
Anyway, these last couple of days a thought has been popping up in my head. The thought is, I can't believe I am my age already! In reality, in real life, I am my age and I am considered old now. Grandma age even now, at least in the Hmong culture. However!!!! I feel like I am still young and I am still only growing and still maturing, when I should feel like I've already matured. Sometimes when I'm writing emails or when I'm interacting with others, I feel like I am thinking with a young brain. A brain that is still trying to impress. Like, why am I still trying to impress people and prove something? I'm already there! I already made it. I'm already old and my voice is lower now. It's no longer the high, timid voice that's seeking approval. When I speak now, people do pay attention. But why do I still feel like I need to prove something or I need to impress? It's so weird! The only explanation is that I am old in reality now but my brain is living outside my body, it's still stuck in the mid 20's to early 30's mode. It's like my brain is playing a defiance game trying to stay as young as possible for as long as possible. But! It's time to face reality! I'm old now!
