Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

[LonelyHmgGuy]

A tale that is as old at time…
   
I did not feel the earth tremble beneath our feet, the world did not stop turning, there were no fireworks, and not a single announcement or email went out. For the other millions and millions of human beings on planet earth, it was just another day… babies were born, kids got up and dressed for school, there were traffic jams, a ball game was played, meals were eaten and the sun came and went.  However, for 2 people among the millions, a connection was made and we started a life together.

It takes about 5 hours to go from Vientiane to Nong Hai and costs 60,000 kip per person. The road is only partially paved. Where the road is not paved, it can be very bumpy and dusty. We left our hotel rooms and headed towards the main bus terminal near Talad Sao a little bit pass 8 AM. The weather had changed, it was much cooler that morning and there was also a slight breeze blowing, a welcome relief from the hot days before as we got into our van.

When you reach Talad Sao, especially in the early morning hours, you will be greeted with a herd of drivers who promises to take you anywhere in Laos you want to go. There are drivers that will take you north to Luang Prabang and Xieng Khuang , other drivers  will take you  South to Savannakhet and others still will take you across to the border to Thailand. Just keep in mind that prices are always negotiable and to always, always know their fairs before you decide to board.

Standard Prices:
Vientiane to KM 52 – 15,000 kip
Vientiane to Nong Hai – 60,000 kip
Vientiane to Xieng Khuang – 150,000 kip
Vientiane to Luang Prabang – 160,000 kip

May and I arrived in Nong Hai a little past noon. It’s funny how much I missed this dusty little town. Every bump and rock in the road, every tree and piece of garbage that lay on the side of the road, every rice patty, every grazing cow, every dust covered bush and house. I miss them all.

Our van came to a stop and I got out first, my Aunt was waiting for me. I can see that there were tears already swelling in her eyes. Her wrinkle face had not changed and she was still wearing the same dress I last saw her in or so it would seem. She grabbed my heavy suitcase, a very strong woman for such a small frame, and lifted it off the ground. I gave her a hug as tears rolled down my cheeks. I am back I said to my aunt as we held each other for what seemed like a lifetime. She lifted her free hand and brushed the top of my hair and head. I know and welcome back my son, she said to me.

That’s it for today….  I will update you again next time.

LHG
 

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Finding my smile…

There is a smell and a scent that is distinctively “LAOS”, you know it the very moment your plane lands and you almost miss it the moment you plane takes off again. For those that have had the good fortune of visiting Laos, you know exactly what I am referring to… The same can be said of Nong Hai. You will know it the very minute you’re in Nong Hai. The air is fresh and clean, not harsh and without the fumes from motorized vehicles or the smell of open sewers often found in Vientiane.

It had been agreed that May and I would part ways when we got to Nong Hai. She will go home and my sister and I would go to my aunt’s house, at least for the time being. May’s mother was on her way to Nong Hai from Phonsavan, along with some of her blood relatives and if there was to be an engagement party, we would need her mother’s blessings. Honestly, I did not know how I would react to May’s mother or her to me. I don’t if she will approve of me. I felt like a teenager, sitting in the living room, waiting for his date on prom night.

The town was nearly empty, it was harvesting time and this year’s harvest was particularly good. The abundant and lengthy raining season made for an excellent rice crop this year. Most of the town’s people were still away, trying to harvest and bring in their crops before the upcoming Hmong New Year. Most of the farmland around Nong Hai has already been exhausted which means the best hills for farming are at least a day’s walk away. Because of the long distances, most farmers lack the means to bring their crops home. As a result, a business of sort has emerged in Laos. There are several families in Nong Hai that have purchased old Russian made trucks, huge 4 X 4 diesel trucks that have been converted with flatbeds to carry rice. These trucks can tackle the roughest of hills and is able to cross the small rivers and valleys surrounding Nong Hai. These “trucks” will come to your farm, across the rivers, over the streams and way up into the hills where your rice is and mill your rice for you.  And they will also transport your rice home for a small fee. For every 35 bags of 120 lbs of rice, the truckers take 5 bags in payment.   

As I entered my Aunt’s house, a crowd of kids, 15-20 of them, followed me in. Everyone had a smile on their face, some were familiar and others I have never seen before. I quickly open my suitcase and tear open the box of candy bars I had bought with me. Soon, the box was empty; all 30 bars were given out.  A winter jacket for my Aunt, a MP3 player and digital camera for her sons, a wrist watch for my uncle and large bath towels for the whole family. Everyone got something and everyone had a smile, especially me.

That’s it for today…  More to come.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

You writers just LOVE to keep the suspense going huh? 

HS - nothing intentional. Just busy.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Sorry guys, my apologies, I meant to update you all, but I was just busy and seem to have a lot on my mind right now. Since being back, I have been miserable, most of which you can probably guess.  Let me tell you if you did not already know, long distance relationships is a beast, I applaud those that have done it or is doing it now. It is truly a testament to the power of love how anyone can endure such torture.

So to continue my little story… Accepting what is normal.

May’s mother called and said that she will be a couple of days late in coming to Nong Hai. May’s two uncles, the ones responsible for helping May’s Mother with our engagement negotiations, were still busy finishing harvesting rice.  Without them, May’s mother will not come, May tells me.  I was already scared and nervous as it was, and did not need to hear this. My uncle, Cheng, who was my point man for the engagement negotiations, was already in town, having to forego his own crops to be here.  But this was Laos, so, there was nothing to do, but wait. 

There is a lesson to be learned here. In Laos, time passes at a different rate or so it would seem to outsiders like us.  For those that lives off their calendars and due dates, you will be wise to leave your cares before coming to Laos. Here, there are no appointments, no expiration dates, and scheduling is unheard of.  Saturdays and Sundays are just another day in the week. You will never find “hours of operation” posted on any business and family get-togethers often happens at the drop of a hat. For me, this was the part of Laos that I relished and craved. I loved their slow and lay back approach.  They work when they have to and rest when they want to, it is that simple. I am tired of my deadlines, the due dates and scheduled events. I am tired of alarms clocks and meeting notices.

May and I spent the day just walking around her little town… just taking it all in.

Walking around May’s town is like walking into the past. Most of the bamboo houses still have bare floors with thatched roofs made of tall grasses.  The houses are small and built in random disorder. Every family has chickens in a chicken coop behind the house. Every family has a pile of wood for cooking and to keep warm. Every family has a clothes line, strung out rope that had been pieced together too many times to count.  And every family has a jackfruit tree.  Women still carries babies on their backs while doing their chores. Little kids, without pants on, still runs and digs in the dirt roads. Little old men can still be heard playing traditional Hmong music while sitting outside their front doors each morning. Groups of girls still walks, hand and hand, down dusty paths to fetch water and firewood.

Well, that’s it for today… I will update you all again, soon.

LHG

[boO]

LHG!

Ohmyduckinggod!

I am so happy for you and May

Congratulation ...

[baddabing]

Sounds like you had a good time, and also met the right girl for you.

Happy for both of you.

[LonelyHmgGuy]

LHG!

Ohmyduckinggod!

I am so happy for you and May

Congratulation ...

Where have you been? LOL... I thought you would be first in line to give me a hug! Thank you very much! I hope and pray the same phrases can be return to you someday soon BOO!!

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Sounds like you had a good time, and also met the right girl for you.

Happy for both of you.

Thanks buddy... thank you! If this distance don't kill me right away, I should be fine in a few months!

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Pulling Teeth….

The official rules regarding marriage of a Lao citizen to foreigners requires that you give an arm and a leg, or dam near to it, in my humble opinion.

The following documents must be provided to the provincial administrator, or in Vientiane, to the administrator of the Vientiane Prefecture. And it typically takes about 18 months to complete the process.

Application for marriage
Biographical details for pair intending to marry
Certificate of residence
Photocopy of identity card or passport
Certificate of no impediment (or evidence of single status)
Certificate of health
Character reference
4 x 6cm passport photographs
Certificate of financial status
Written statement guaranteeing return of Lao citizen to his/her homeland according to his/her wish in case of divorce.
Comments of Ministry of Foreign affairs of the Lao PDR.
Comments of the Police at the provincial or prefectural level
Comments of the Justice Service at the provincial or prefectural level.

For these reasons, most US citizens opt for a second option, engagement only.

http://youtu.be/pw_MGk8ywmY

May’s mother arrived into town a little after 4:00 PM on my third day in None Hai.  I would guess that she’s only 4’9” and 120 lbs at best. Her face was round and worn down, her eyes are dark and she had straggly hair, like someone who had just woke up from an illness. She smiled as we greeted her in the middle of the dusty road climbing off a van that came all the way from Phonsavan. I was nervous; I wanted to give her a hug but did not know if it was appropriate. I almost reach out with my hand to give her a handshake, but that would seem odd too. So, I was stuck in that awkward situation where nothing happens and we just traded smiles.

May’s mother wanted 1500.00 US dollars, her asking price for May’s hand in marriage. From what my uncle tells me, this was normal, as May was married before. If I was a Hmong-Lao, only a feast was all that was needed for us be engaged in traditional Hmong culture. The price for a single woman, one who was never married before can easily cost between 5,000 to 7,000 dollars for her US husband. Most of this did not matter to me, not that money did not matter, I know who May was and that I loved her and wanted to marry her. I would have easily paid 10,000 dollars for May…  Thank God, they did not ask.

The engagement feast was small, only about 30 people total, between her family and mine. The main course was a Hmong pig, which had like 20 lbs of meat and 120 lbs of fat. Man, those things are fat! We ate and drank into the late evening. It feels weird being “attached” to someone again after being alone and single for so long… but as Taylor Swift once said, “it’s confusing, miserable, and magical in the best way”…

Well... that's it for today. I will have some final thoughts next time.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Airport in Taiwan... 6 hours.


Taiwan... still.


Bowling in Laos??? You better believe it!


May going for a strike!!!


Me going for a strike... NOT!


May and I at ITECC, bowling alley.


May and I at Pha That Luang... famous temple in Vientiane, Laos


May at Pha That Luang...


Me at Pha That Luang...


Going to the Night Market in Vientiane...


May, the night I asked her to marry me...


The exact spot I asked May to marry me...


May and I at Anou... very hot day.


Lunch at Anou...


Outside Talad Sao...


Outside Talad Sao... 2


Outside Talad Sao... 3


The Famous Talad Sao...


Talad Sao... from the outside.


May and I in Vang Vieng...


May and I in Vang Vieng... 2


May and I in Phonsavan, New Years...


May and I, part of the crowd at New Years...


too many too post... sorry guys..

Happy Travels,

LHG

[theking]

Airport in Taiwan... 6 hours

Happy Travels,

LHG

Good stuff man, thanks for sharing! And of course, big GRATS to you and your lovely bride!

[baddabing]

nice pictures, thanks for sharing.

[MenyuamHmoob]

LHG, It's too bad I couldn't make the trip to Laos this year.  Although i would like to add, when I do go next time, i want to go to the remote hills/villages in Laos.  Places where there's no electricity, no cars, no big markets (like KM52/Phounsavan).

Thanks for sharing all the wonderful experiences you and May had in Laos.  I am happy for you brother!  You followed your heart (mind too, of course) and didn't let any bad stereotypes about marrying abroad bring you down.  I'm sure your stories and experiences have and will continue to inspire many lost souls out there (ahem ahem, myself).  Best of wishes to your new found purpose/life/marriage. 

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Great pix. Thanks for sharing a little memory with us.

Thank you HS... the journey is just beginning and I am very hopeful.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Good stuff man, thanks for sharing! And of course, big GRATS to you and your lovely bride!

Thanks King... hopefully everything will go as plan.

Thanks again,

LHG