PebHmong Discussion Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: bloggersdigest on March 21, 2017, 02:18:54 PM
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Long story short I grew up in a pretty traditional family.
I was never allowed to go out late, sleep over at friends or relatives. No piercings, no tattoos and crazy colored hair was out of the picture.
So obviously growing up and reaching my early 20's I never drank, partied hard or did any substances of any sort. Never even experienced what a club was until I was 21.
Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.
Yes I am married; I never take my ring off. I make it clear I am married when men approach me and my Husband always knows where I am at and whom I am with.
He's doesn't drink and does not like to club and go to the bars.
One time I ran into his buddy, of course I said "Hi."
They always ask where my Husband is and I always give the same response "He's at home, bars and clubbing is not his scene."
Don't get me wrong I don't go out every weekend, but when I do it's always just the girls and there are a few that are indeed married.
Anyways fast forward, my Husband picked me up one night after I was out with my friends and we went out for some late night food and ran into his same buddy. His buddy's response was "Dang, you are one loyal guy, I keep running into your wife and I don't see you ever."
Which I assume is apparently a lot when we have only ran into each other twice and both times my Husband was aware of where and when I was.
I wanted to so badly speak my mind and say "Excuse me? Are you saying I am un-loyal because I am seen without him? And I am sorry you apparently have never heard of something called trust."
But I bit my tongue and did not say a thing.
Was I overthinking or not?
My Husband and I have talked over this matter before and he allows me to go out and hang out with friends. I always ask him if it bothers him that I go to the clubs or bars once in a while and he says no cause he trust me. But I can’t help but also feel bad. I have never cheated or done anything wrong. After a night of going out I always tell him how it went and if men approached me I tell him what happened and how I handled it. I tell him just because we share everything.
Was it wrong of me to be upset his friend said that?
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Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.
Yes I am married; I never take my ring off.
why so many hmong marry so young. :idiot2:
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why so many hmong marry so young. :idiot2:
I wouldn't say I married super young....
As young to me is like 15-16 HAHA!
But to answer your question I married young because we have known one another for over 7+ years
We dated for about 5 years and we already knew it was either we get married or we separated, marriage to us after 5
years was nothing of a big deal it was to us making it official and now waking up next to one another every morning and
pushing through every bump in the road.
Plus with traditional parents... My option was to either marry or stop seeing one another....
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Long story short I grew up in a pretty traditional family.
I was never allowed to go out late, sleep over at friends or relatives. No piercings, no tattoos and crazy colored hair was out of the picture.
So obviously growing up and reaching my early 20's I never drank, partied hard or did any substances of any sort. Never even experienced what a club was until I was 21.
Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.
Yes I am married; I never take my ring off. I make it clear I am married when men approach me and my Husband always knows where I am at and whom I am with.
He's doesn't drink and does not like to club and go to the bars.
One time I ran into his buddy, of course I said "Hi."
They always ask where my Husband is and I always give the same response "He's at home, bars and clubbing is not his scene."
Don't get me wrong I don't go out every weekend, but when I do it's always just the girls and there are a few that are indeed married.
Anyways fast forward, my Husband picked me up one night after I was out with my friends and we went out for some late night food and ran into his same buddy. His buddy's response was "Dang, you are one loyal guy, I keep running into your wife and I don't see you ever."
Which I assume is apparently a lot when we have only ran into each other twice and both times my Husband was aware of where and when I was.
I wanted to so badly speak my mind and say "Excuse me? Are you saying I am un-loyal because I am seen without him? And I am sorry you apparently have never heard of something called trust."
But I bit my tongue and did not say a thing.
Was I overthinking or not?
My Husband and I have talked over this matter before and he allows me to go out and hang out with friends. I always ask him if it bothers him that I go to the clubs or bars once in a while and he says no cause he trust me. But I can’t help but also feel bad. I have never cheated or done anything wrong. After a night of going out I always tell him how it went and if men approached me I tell him what happened and how I handled it. I tell him just because we share everything.
Was it wrong of me to be upset his friend said that?
No it's not wrong to be upset. Because his friend doesn't know what kind of relationship you have with your husband. His opinion is just an opinion, and he's not someone who's very important in your life so don't let it bother you. Your husband trusts you, and you are very transparent about what you're doing and who you're with. I would say that you can be upset but don't let it last too long. After all, your relationship is just between you and your husband.
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is there any way u can provide a visual of yourself... that wld help us assess the situation better... if you're easy on the eyes then u have every right to be upset... but if you're a "hey-u"... u shld take it as a compliment... just keeping it real... lol!
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No it's not wrong to be upset. Because his friend doesn't know what kind of relationship you have with your husband. His opinion is just an opinion, and he's not someone who's very important in your life so don't let it bother you. Your husband trusts you, and you are very transparent about what you're doing and who you're with. I would say that you can be upset but don't let it last too long. After all, your relationship is just between you and your husband.
Thanks Peachtrees!!
I am somewhat of a grudge holder and working on it haha so I am trying my best to just brush it off ;D
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Thanks Peachtrees!!
I am somewhat of a grudge holder and working on it haha so I am trying my best to just brush it off ;D
Sounds good, I'm glad you're trying. I'm working on not holding grudges too. ;D
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is there any way u can provide a visual of yourself... that wld help us assess the situation better... if you're easy on the eyes then u have every right to be upset... but if you're a "hey-u"... u shld take it as a compliment... just keeping it real... lol!
HAHA sorry but I would like to stay anonymous...
If it helps I don't believe I look like gorgeous super model, but when going out with my friends I will get men approaching me at least once if not twice...
Unfortunately I can be a very blunt and honest, but I always refer them to my single friends hahaha ;D
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Sounds good, I'm glad you're trying. I'm working on not holding grudges too. ;D
HAHA thanks, yeah a lot harder said then being done
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People see you once and they say they have seen you a thousand times, especially it they had a motive.
I think the friend has a thing for you though.
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1. Of course it bothers him but why would he tell you when all it will do is make you go on a bitter rant and get all angry about it to make him change his sentence again.
2. Your marriage, as innocent as you make it sound, is headed straight towards rocky shores and will soon sink. Might as well get divorced now while you're still young and perhaps pretty enough to hook up with a few guys.
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HAHA sorry but I would like to stay anonymous...
If it helps I don't believe I look like gorgeous super model, but when going out with my friends I will get men approaching me at least once if not twice...
Unfortunately I can be a very blunt and honest, but I always refer them to my single friends hahaha ;D
suit yourself... anyway, so attractive married women who are out partying with their single friends are perceived as promiscuous... whereas not so attractive married women aren't... thus the perception... thus whether that's true or not... who knows... thus your feelings about this situation should depend on how you look... lol!
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People see you once and they say they have seen you a thousand times, especially it they have a motive.
I think the friend has a thing for you though.
Ehhh I highly doubt it... Or at least I don't think he does.
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A new guy, you mean?
But I agree. The friend is probably first in line, if you mean a few... Lol
... a few guys.
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A new guy, you mean?
But I agree. The friend is probably first in line, if you mean a few... Lol
No, I meant "a few" because they won't be around long if she keeps up the bar scene.
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I wouldn't say I married super young....
As young to me is like 15-16 HAHA!
But to answer your question I married young because we have known one another for over 7+ years
We dated for about 5 years and we already knew it was either we get married or we separated, marriage to us after 5
years was nothing of a big deal it was to us making it official and now waking up next to one another every morning and
pushing through every bump in the road.
Plus with traditional parents... My option was to either marry or stop seeing one another....
woah, that's rough. it's like using marriage as a scapegoat in hopes of a better future. i see a lot of hmong do this and it's always a gamble. some make it and others just don't work out cause both never knew what they were doing to begin with. i guess that's why you're asking us these questions in here. i say, it's your life so don't let a nobody judge you on what you know. good luck to ya. O0
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Is he cute?
Why do you think he finds you at the clubs? Lol
Ehhh I highly doubt it... Or at least I don't think he does.
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It's normal to be upset. I would question the friend, however.
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She makes it sound like they got home late and were forced to marry.
woah, that's rough. it's like using marriage as a scapegoat in hopes of a better future. i see a lot of hmong do this and it's always a gamble. some make it and others just don't work out cause both never knew what they were doing to begin with. i guess that's why you're asking us these questions in here. i say, it's your life so don't let a nobody judge you on what you know. good luck to ya. O0
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1. Of course it bothers him but why would he tell you when all it will do is make you go on a bitter rant and get all angry about it to make him change his sentence again.
2. Your marriage, as innocent as you make it sound, is headed straight towards rocky shores and will soon sink. Might as well get divorced now while you're still young and perhaps pretty enough to hook up with a few guys.
Okay then.
Uhm don’t assume you know me or what my marriage is about. We clearly communicate.
And like I said we have talked about it and he doesn’t have an issue as it’s not a daily or weekly thing I do. Sorry, but divorce is not in my books unless he plans to cheat or vice versa and I can tell you right off the bat I don’t plan on ruining my marriage, but thanks for the advice….
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I think he has the hots for her and wants them to break up.
It's normal to be upset. I would question the friend, however.
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What alot of people don't understand is that marriage is not an "I" thing. It's a "WE" thing. Once you get married, if you want it to work, everything you do has to be for "US/WE/OUR" not "I/ME/MY" anymore. If you start thinking "I am not happy","My happiness comes first", "It's about ME!", please don't get married because it will not work out. If you made the mistake of getting married, then get a dicorce fast because the longer you wait, the more miserable you will be. America and western civilization emphasizes "MY happiness" , "Me, Me, Me" and "I come first". That's why divorce rate is over 50% here. Think about it.
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woah, that's rough. it's like using marriage as a scapegoat in hopes of a better future. i see a lot of hmong do this and it's always a gamble. some make it and others just don't work out cause both never knew what they were doing to begin with. i guess that's why you're asking us these questions in here. i say, it's your life so don't let a nobody judge you on what you know. good luck to ya. O0
Yeah if you look at it that way that was basically my ultimatum..
Good or bad we are in this together. No relationship is perfect but we always work and struggle at it together..
We managed to still be together for over 5 years and now it's marriage and we are just adding to those years.
Thanks!
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One drink becomes two. Two drinks become three. Then she's hooked.
I wouldn't believe friends who say Coronas aren't addicting.
No, I meant "a few" because they won't be around long if she keeps up the bar scene.
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Okay then.
Uhm don’t assume you know me or what my marriage is about. We clearly communicate.
And like I said we have talked about it and he doesn’t have an issue as it’s not a daily or weekly thing I do. Sorry, but divorce is not in my books unless he plans to cheat or vice versa and I can tell you right off the bat I don’t plan on ruining my marriage, but thanks for the advice….
I don't need to assume anything about you. You're following a common pattern behavior pattern which leads to the same end. What makes you think you're any different? Guess what? All those others before you who ended up in divorced thought the same thing you did. They just learned the hard way like you will.
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My wife goes out with friends, both single and married. As do I. She calls to let me know how long she'll be and whether or not to wait up for her. As do I. All because I in turn am allowed the same courtesy. Why find fault when there isn't any. And yes, all relationships are different.
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Is he cute?
Why do you think he finds you at the clubs? Lol
In all honesty no he's not
And probably cause that's how that guy and his group of friends are.. Always out and about
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She makes it sound like they got home late and were forced to marry.
No he was deathly afraid of my dad so I never went home late nor did he ever bring me home late
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I don't need to assume anything about you. You're following a common pattern behavior pattern which leads to the same end. What makes you think you're any different? Guess what? All those others before you who ended up in divorced thought the same thing you did. They just learned the hard way like you will.
So what I am understanding here is you're saying my marriage is headed downhill cause I am honest with my spouse and because when I do go out to the bars and club as a married woman that is wrong?
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One drink becomes two. Two drinks become three. Then she's hooked.
I wouldn't believe friends who say Coronas aren't addicting.
Good thing I don't drink Coronas
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do u have any kids...?
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BD
which club do yo go to? lol :D ;D
Not important as I only go once in a few months
Usually for an occasion
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do u have any kids...?
No I do not
I told my hubs and I want to wait a few years after we have traveled and really enjoyed me and him before we bring a child into this world
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I'm going to be blunt. You people are old and boring ;D :2funny:
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which celebrity actress do u most resemble... please don't say gal godot... please!
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My wife goes out with friends, both single and married. As do I. She calls to let me know how long she'll be and whether or not to wait up for her. As do I. All because I in turn am allowed the same courtesy. Why find fault when there isn't any. And yes, all relationships are different.
Exactly, it's not like I absolutely ban him from being able to go out. He chooses not too.
I always offer to see if he wants to go out too but he will try to find any excuse not to go out hence why I'm always with the girls married and single. I never discourage him from going out with his friends either
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no name of club...just where it's located and city/state?
ua tsaug!
Not relevant lol
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which celebrity actress do u most resemble... please don't say gal godot... please!
I have been told I look like Maggie Q
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do you do tea date? just curious. :)
ua tsaug!
What is that?
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Not important as I only go once in a few months
Usually for an occasion
his friend must go to the clubs a lot if you only go once in a while and you still bump into your husband's friend.
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if stranded on a desert island... wld ur hubby prefer a popsicle or ice cream bar... ?
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his friend must go to the clubs a lot if you only go once in a while and you still bump into your husband's friend.
Yeah they do.
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if stranded on a desert island... wld ur hubby prefer a popsicle or ice cream bar... ?
Neither the guy lives off PHO and Mountain Dew hahah
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toyota or honda...?
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lexus or acura...?
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you said you don't drink coronas....so i ask if you would do tea date? You know....drink tea? :D :)
No, the only tea dates I go on is with my cousin or husband and it's for Boba Tea :D
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marvel or dc...?
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I would not get mad...
They are probably just so dang impressed thats all..and thats just the way it came out. You probably took it the wrong way.
But I can understand your frustration.
But!!!! No matter how loyal you are...if you do keep going out, guess what? You will indoubtably run ito someone who will make you be like "wow...hmmm..." it just happens...
Anyways...that s beside the point! In anycase...once you get a bit older and wiser...you wont care what others say...what they say wont even register to you.
Yeah, you can be upset, but I would let it go as soon as possible. Holding grudges...is not a good thing no matter how big or small...
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toyota or honda...?
Him Honda, he started with a 1993 Civic haha typical
I started with a 93 Camry
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lexus or acura...?
Uhm no clue, I think he prefers lexus???
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How's Boba tea taste like?
Depends what you order
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marvel or dc...?
Marvel
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So what I am understanding here is you're saying my marriage is headed downhill cause I am honest with my spouse and because when I do go out to the bars and club as a married woman that is wrong?
Doesn't matter if you're honest or not. Going to clubs as a married woman without your husband around spells trouble. When has it ever gone good?
Have you heard any of the following phrases yet?
"Your happiness comes first"
"You should be happy"
"You deserve better".
I hope not, but when you do, that divorce is just around the corner. People don't see it till it's too late.
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yawns... like nkaujsee said... live your life... no marriage is perfect... just don't give his friend(s) any satisfaction of second guessing your love and loyalty to your husband... a lot like how many male phers on here are second guessing you as a person... best of luck to u...
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Doesn't matter if you're honest or not. Going to clubs as a married woman without your husband around spells trouble. When has it ever gone good?
Have you heard any of the following phrases yet?
"Your happiness comes first"
"You should be happy"
"You deserve better".
I hope not, but when you do, that divorce is just around the corner. People don't see it till it's too late.
Nope I have not been told that and no worries, I am staying away from the bars and clubs for a while now
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yawns... like nkaujsee said... live your life... no marriage is perfect... just don't give his friend(s) any satisfaction of second guessing your love and loyalty to your husband... a lot like how many male phers on here are second guessing you as a person... best of luck to u...
that's cause a lot of hmong men in general are very judgemental when it comes to hmong women
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that's cause a lot of hmong men in general are very judgemental when it comes to hmong women
Agreed
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Nope I have not been told that and no worries, I am staying away from the bars and clubs for a while now
Don't worry, you'll run into those lines soon enough. Staying away from clubs is a good plan. If you can keep away, your marriage will last longer. O0
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Different people manage things differently. As for myself and my previous night owl exp, it would be wiser if i do not go. Since i am not going, it is also unwise to ruin other people's parade. Im clubbed out n she haven't so let the lad goes out with her own crew since they haven't had enough. Plus, i dont want a chick who has no hobby and is clingy to me 24/7. Someone has to babysit her because i surely needed that break as well.
Well the issue regarding truth n faithfulness, i give people enough leash to eventually they hang themselves.
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ducking other men is not a good hobby for anyone who calls herself a wife. ;D
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ducking other men is not a good hobby for anyone who calls herself a wife. ;D
My effed up wife for your good wife. If you want them fresher, i can get you my gf. Now that's what i call as an even exchange.
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Long story short I grew up in a pretty traditional family.
I was never allowed to go out late, sleep over at friends or relatives. No piercings, no tattoos and crazy colored hair was out of the picture.
So obviously growing up and reaching my early 20's I never drank, partied hard or did any substances of any sort. Never even experienced what a club was until I was 21.
Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.
Yes I am married; I never take my ring off. I make it clear I am married when men approach me and my Husband always knows where I am at and whom I am with.
He's doesn't drink and does not like to club and go to the bars.
One time I ran into his buddy, of course I said "Hi."
They always ask where my Husband is and I always give the same response "He's at home, bars and clubbing is not his scene."
Don't get me wrong I don't go out every weekend, but when I do it's always just the girls and there are a few that are indeed married.
Anyways fast forward, my Husband picked me up one night after I was out with my friends and we went out for some late night food and ran into his same buddy. His buddy's response was "Dang, you are one loyal guy, I keep running into your wife and I don't see you ever."
Which I assume is apparently a lot when we have only ran into each other twice and both times my Husband was aware of where and when I was.
I wanted to so badly speak my mind and say "Excuse me? Are you saying I am un-loyal because I am seen without him? And I am sorry you apparently have never heard of something called trust."
But I bit my tongue and did not say a thing.
Was I overthinking or not?
My Husband and I have talked over this matter before and he allows me to go out and hang out with friends. I always ask him if it bothers him that I go to the clubs or bars once in a while and he says no cause he trust me. But I can’t help but also feel bad. I have never cheated or done anything wrong. After a night of going out I always tell him how it went and if men approached me I tell him what happened and how I handled it. I tell him just because we share everything.
Was it wrong of me to be upset his friend said that?
As long as you and your husband are OK with that set up, don't worry about "buddy" primitive caveman wrong assumption..
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Sadly there are still too many primitives with short sighted narrow views out there..
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Oh, ok. I hope you don't fall for him.
In all honesty no he's not
And probably cause that's how that guy and his group of friends are.. Always out and about
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Would your dad have forced the marriage if you two were ever late coming back?
No he was deathly afraid of my dad so I never went home late nor did he ever bring me home late
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Then you won't be hooked too easily. But do you drink other kinds?
Good thing I don't drink Coronas
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You have to keep things healthy. Being unhealthy is when she wants to go with her friends but made you buy her advanced tix.
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Done.
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My question to you married folks out there who still goes clubbing...is this: where do you draw the line? When a guy flirts with you, are you prepared to brush them off? If a guy buys you a drink, you take it? If a guy ask to to dance, are you ok with it because it's only dancing? If a guy volunteers to give you a ride home, are you ok with that? Where do you draw the line...?
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and if you're still married, how long have you been married? 1 year? 10 years?
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Doesn't matter if you're honest or not. Going to clubs as a married woman without your husband around spells trouble. When has it ever gone good?
Have you heard any of the following phrases yet?
"Your happiness comes first"
"You should be happy"
"You deserve better".
I hope not, but when you do, that divorce is just around the corner. People don't see it till it's too late.
Uhhhh, she already stated that she's been going out and it's all "good"...But then again, you like to make assumptions and claims without any evidence to back it up...so nothing new.
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yawns... like nkaujsee said... live your life... no marriage is perfect... just don't give his friend(s) any satisfaction of second guessing your love and loyalty to your husband... a lot like how many male phers on here are second guessing you as a person... best of luck to u...
Sadly that's how it is with some. All they see is Black and White so when a situation is outside of their short sighted narrow view, they just assume that all situations are the same..with no evidence to back it up..
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All you insecure married folks that don't trust your spouse, how do you control your spouse from going out? Lock him/her up? Spy on him/her every second of the day?
Here's a fact, if your spouse is going to cheat on you, it doesn't have to be at the club. It could be at your own home...
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^^ The club scene offers more meeting opportunities with the opposite sex. Even if the wife didn't mean to "meet" anyone at first, the club scene offers that opportunity. Let's be honest here, most guys go clubbing to pick up woman, married, single doesn't matter. As long as the woman gives consent, the guy will go for it, if given the opportunity. True, if she is unfaithful to begin with, she will find ways to have an affair. I'm just stating that the club scene will facilitate the urge to want to meet new friends...
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It's is not a matter of being insecure. The wife wanting to do her own thing, in this case go clubbing, is already a sign of cracks in the marriage. If she goes once in a while like during her friend's b-day, wedding anniversary, etc. and it's a one time thing, it may be fine. The question then becomes, what if she goes on a regular basis, what then?
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The place doesn't matter but the person does. If your spouse wants to cheat on you, it can happen anywhere even at a church...
In the OP's situation, her husband is cool with it so there's nothing wrong with that. I rather have a wife that's honest with me than one that lies to me so she can do things behind my back..
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It's is not a matter of being insecure. The wife wanting to do her own thing, in this case go clubbing, is already a sign of cracks in the marriage. If she goes once in a while like during her friend's b-day, wedding anniversary, etc. and it's a one time thing, it may be fine. The question then becomes, what if she goes on a regular basis, what then?
Nope, just depends on the person and his/her purpose..
In the OP's case, her husband doesn't want to go but gave her his blessings so that's actually better than cases where one spouse lies to the other so he/she can cheat. And again, it doesn't even have to be at a club..
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I bet this wife wasn't honest with her husband and what do you know, she didn't do the cheating at a club but at a high school.. :o ;D:
"Married Teacher Who Allegedly Had Sexual Relations With 17-Year-Old Student Grins in Mugshot"
3/21/17
(https://s.yimg.com/uu/api/res/1.2/hZa0kWjn8EwPpfYVqtgKpw--/Zmk9c3RyaW07aD0zNjA7dz02NDA7c209MTthcHBpZD15dGFjaHlvbg--/http://media.zenfs.com/en-US/homerun/inside_edition/ae4949248480ebb7f8c2fd5bb605a09b)
A married Texas teacher who allegedly had a sexual relationship with a student grinned in her mugshot after her arrest.
Sarah Fowlkes, 27, a former teacher of anatomy and physiology at Lockhart High School, was arrested on Monday for her alleged contact with a 17-year-old student.
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My question to you married folks out there who still goes clubbing...is this: where do you draw the line? When a guy flirts with you, are you prepared to brush them off? If a guy buys you a drink, you take it? If a guy ask to to dance, are you ok with it because it's only dancing? If a guy volunteers to give you a ride home, are you ok with that? Where do you draw the line...?
you know that flirting happens in other places besides the club right? :2funny: :idiot2: so many immature hmong boys in here who don't know about human interactions.
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Long story short I grew up in a pretty traditional family.
I was never allowed to go out late, sleep over at friends or relatives. No piercings, no tattoos and crazy colored hair was out of the picture.
So obviously growing up and reaching my early 20's I never drank, partied hard or did any substances of any sort. Never even experienced what a club was until I was 21.
Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.
Yes I am married; I never take my ring off. I make it clear I am married when men approach me and my Husband always knows where I am at and whom I am with.
He's doesn't drink and does not like to club and go to the bars.
One time I ran into his buddy, of course I said "Hi."
They always ask where my Husband is and I always give the same response "He's at home, bars and clubbing is not his scene."
Don't get me wrong I don't go out every weekend, but when I do it's always just the girls and there are a few that are indeed married.
Anyways fast forward, my Husband picked me up one night after I was out with my friends and we went out for some late night food and ran into his same buddy. His buddy's response was "Dang, you are one loyal guy, I keep running into your wife and I don't see you ever."
Which I assume is apparently a lot when we have only ran into each other twice and both times my Husband was aware of where and when I was.
I wanted to so badly speak my mind and say "Excuse me? Are you saying I am un-loyal because I am seen without him? And I am sorry you apparently have never heard of something called trust."
But I bit my tongue and did not say a thing.
Was I overthinking or not?
My Husband and I have talked over this matter before and he allows me to go out and hang out with friends. I always ask him if it bothers him that I go to the clubs or bars once in a while and he says no cause he trust me. But I can’t help but also feel bad. I have never cheated or done anything wrong. After a night of going out I always tell him how it went and if men approached me I tell him what happened and how I handled it. I tell him just because we share everything.
Was it wrong of me to be upset his friend said that?
Perception is reality. You can't deny his nor can he deny yours. So what are you mad about? If you're concerned about his perception of you that much then change; otherwise who cares. Just my thoughts.
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Nope I have not been told that and no worries, I am staying away from the bars and clubs for a while now
Why!?!?!?
You know whats funnie..i was sitting with some guys and they was talking..
And the one guy who was married..he said "thats where I messed up when I got married, I stopped going out"...
So yeah, he was married and he no he needa still go to clubs... why? You still need an outlet for whatever reasons. But the guy still really love his wife. Then all the guys started talking about the clubs.
Im not really a club or bar guy myself. I definately feel out of my element but sometimes I do go just to listen to music, its just the whole experience and ambience of it all.
Theres nothing wrong going to the club married or not with your s/o or just by yourself.
We all heard it before, live your life the way you want too.
You might just need to lighten up a bit on yourself and be a bit more carefree and let things roll off your shoulders a bit more easily so you arent so upset and offended. If you do that! Youll definately be happier.
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But! I will re-iterate what I said earlier..
The more you go out, the more chances you'll inadvertedly run into someone who makes you go hmmmm...
You may end up having a conversation with some random guy and be like.. "wow, i really like this guy, he really fit the bill!"... or think.."if I wasnt married..."
Though those are innocent thoughts and harmless..
Its not good to wonder about what ifs...
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Don't worry, you'll run into those lines soon enough. Staying away from clubs is a good plan. If you can keep away, your marriage will last longer. O0
I suppose so, but my point was what is so bad about a married woman going clubbing for occasional events with her friends when she's being honest and truthful about it. I don't go there acting like I am single. I always ask for him to go along, but he rather not. It's not like I go all the time. The only time I ever go is if a friend is celebrating something and that is where they so happen to pick.. I am not about to be those girls who's like oh sorry I can't come because my husband says "no." because that is not how our relationship is. We build it on trust, yes it took a while to get there, but it's like I don't want to control what he can and can't do and vice versa. I can to also see where you are coming from... But I am not the norm where oh, if you are married you can't go anywhere without your husband, you must go to work and come home... etc.
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yawns... like nkaujsee said... live your life... no marriage is perfect... just don't give his friend(s) any satisfaction of second guessing your love and loyalty to your husband... a lot like how many male phers on here are second guessing you as a person... best of luck to u...
Ugh for real... But yes, thanks I will keep that in mind :D
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Different people manage things differently. As for myself and my previous night owl exp, it would be wiser if i do not go. Since i am not going, it is also unwise to ruin other people's parade. Im clubbed out n she haven't so let the lad goes out with her own crew since they haven't had enough. Plus, i dont want a chick who has no hobby and is clingy to me 24/7. Someone has to babysit her because i surely needed that break as well.
Well the issue regarding truth n faithfulness, i give people enough leash to eventually they hang themselves.
O0
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As long as you and your husband are OK with that set up, don't worry about "buddy" primitive caveman wrong assumption..
Thanks!
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Then you won't be hooked too easily. But do you drink other kinds?
Yes, I am a clear drinker
But Reds and Angry Orchards over beer anyday
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I suppose so, but my point was what is so bad about a married woman going clubbing for occasional events with her friends when she's being honest and truthful about it. I don't go there acting like I am single. I always ask for him to go along, but he rather not. It's not like I go all the time. The only time I ever go is if a friend is celebrating something and that is where they so happen to pick.. I am not about to be those girls who's like oh sorry I can't come because my husband says "no." because that is not how our relationship is. We build it on trust, yes it took a while to get there, but it's like I don't want to control what he can and can't do and vice versa. I can to also see where you are coming from... But I am not the norm where oh, if you are married you can't go anywhere without your husband, you must go to work and come home... etc.
As long as koj happy xwb tsis K what others haib, k. Mloog lawv hais ntau, koj yuas confused. :) O0
Again, where is this club you're so secretive telling me?
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Just some true stories to share:
I've seen a few friend' wife at bar, club, or other events without their husband and the wives have moved on to other people now. There was even a time when many Hmong wives were at the bar to find Ds that were not Hmong. Hmong Ds can be traced back to the community which eventually will lead back to the husband. ;D
We can have the best of trust but in the end, we're only human. Anything is possible. ;D
I suppose so, no worries.
My Husband and I talked about this situation last night and I told him I would rather him going with me and he understood and will try to come out with me just as I got out with him when he goes out with his friends to shows and or days they are fixing up their cars as much as I don't want to go. :D
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My question to you married folks out there who still goes clubbing...is this: where do you draw the line? When a guy flirts with you, are you prepared to brush them off? If a guy buys you a drink, you take it? If a guy ask to to dance, are you ok with it because it's only dancing? If a guy volunteers to give you a ride home, are you ok with that? Where do you draw the line...?
He knows very well where I draw the line and I tell him of it too and every encounter.
If a guy were to approach me I am not stuck up and b*tchy about it. I will say hi and if he asks for my name I would say so..
Usually it gets to somewhere like oh are you from around here which I will polite and answer but it usually leads to can I buy you a drink and if my single friends are here I will say oh I am good actually, I am married but you can talk to my friend over there.
Or if its bad enough where guys are just rude then I just flash my ring and move along.
As to guys trying to dance, there is literally no way for them to cause when my friends and I are dancing we dance in a huge clump/pack so we all fend for one another's safety
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and if you're still married, how long have you been married? 1 year? 10 years?
Have known one another for over 7+ years ishhh
Dated for about 5 years
Married for a year and counting :)
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Uhhhh, she already stated that she's been going out and it's all "good"...But then again, you like to make assumptions and claims without any evidence to back it up...so nothing new.
THANK YOU!
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All you insecure married folks that don't trust your spouse, how do you control your spouse from going out? Lock him/her up? Spy on him/her every second of the day?
Here's a fact, if your spouse is going to cheat on you, it doesn't have to be at the club. It could be at your own home...
Absolutely true!
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It's is not a matter of being insecure. The wife wanting to do her own thing, in this case go clubbing, is already a sign of cracks in the marriage. If she goes once in a while like during her friend's b-day, wedding anniversary, etc. and it's a one time thing, it may be fine. The question then becomes, what if she goes on a regular basis, what then?
Yes, agreed on regular basis without your spouse spells trouble in a marriage.
Which already stated I don't.
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The place doesn't matter but the person does. If your spouse wants to cheat on you, it can happen anywhere even at a church...
In the OP's situation, her husband is cool with it so there's nothing wrong with that. I rather have a wife that's honest with me than one that lies to me so she can do things behind my back..
Exactly!
Yes and we came to an agreement, and he did realize that I never go without an occasion. But he is now more willingly to go out with me too and not stay home all the time. With that also being said he does get that I can be independent but I am always honest with him and never would do anything to jepordize our marriage.
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Nope, just depends on the person and his/her purpose..
In the OP's case, her husband doesn't want to go but gave her his blessings so that's actually better than cases where one spouse lies to the other so he/she can cheat. And again, it doesn't even have to be at a club..
Yep, it's like I mentioned to him.
There are girls who will go and not tell their spouse at all.. I would not want that as to why I will tell him where and when and with whom.
Yes, he admits sometimes it does bug him that I go, because then it leaves him home with nothing to do but I explained to him that he doesn't have to stay home when I am out, that he can come with and if he chooses not to then he's always more then welcome to hang out with his friends.
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you know that flirting happens in other places besides the club right? :2funny: :idiot2: so many immature hmong boys in here who don't know about human interactions.
YES for real!
I went out to eat with a sister in law and still managed to get hit on without even trying.
So yes guys it can happen anywhere!
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YES for real!
I went out to eat with a sister in law and still managed to get hit on without even trying.
So yes guys it can happen anywhere!
the club is just more a comfortable setting to get girls' numbers. lol
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Perception is reality. You can't deny his nor can he deny yours. So what are you mad about? If you're concerned about his perception of you that much then change; otherwise who cares. Just my thoughts.
Yeah, I am pretty much ehhh what ever at this point about what the buddy said...
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the club is just more a comfortable setting to get girls' numbers. lol
True, but when I went out to eat with my sister in law we were at a sushi restaurant..
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But! I will re-iterate what I said earlier..
The more you go out, the more chances you'll inadvertedly run into someone who makes you go hmmmm...
You may end up having a conversation with some random guy and be like.. "wow, i really like this guy, he really fit the bill!"... or think.."if I wasnt married..."
Though those are innocent thoughts and harmless..
Its not good to wonder about what ifs...
Trust me, they don't even get into a far enough conversation with me for me to think... What if?
HAHAHAHHAHA ;D
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As long as koj happy xwb tsis K what others haib, k. Mloog lawv hais ntau, koj yuas confused. :) O0
Again, where is this club you're so secretive telling me?
Alrighty!
Not relevant, won't be going for a while.
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O0 O0
Yes, I am a clear drinker
But Reds and Angry Orchards over beer anyday
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I didn't know dancing was dangerous where you'd need protection like that. lol
He knows very well where I draw the line and I tell him of it too and every encounter.
If a guy were to approach me I am not stuck up and b*tchy about it. I will say hi and if he asks for my name I would say so..
Usually it gets to somewhere like oh are you from around here which I will polite and answer but it usually leads to can I buy you a drink and if my single friends are here I will say oh I am good actually, I am married but you can talk to my friend over there.
Or if its bad enough where guys are just rude then I just flash my ring and move along.
As to guys trying to dance, there is literally no way for them to cause when my friends and I are dancing we dance in a huge clump/pack so we all fend for one another's safety
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Alrighty!
Not relevant, won't be going for a while.
Geez...it's not like if you told me, i'mma go there and wait for you there every single weekend. LOL JK
Peb yeej paub qabhau thiab mas...plus, I'm in LAOS now.lol
Uacas hos tsis xav mus clubbing lawm? Just because koj married? ::)
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No wonder it's still going strong.
How hard is it to count one or two?
Have known one another for over 7+ years ishhh
Dated for about 5 years
Married for a year and counting :)
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I didn't know dancing was dangerous where you'd need protection like that. lol
she meant tsa some dude ua thaj DOGGY STYLE from behind...so safety in number is what BD meant? Puas yog li kuv hais BD? lol
ua tsaug!
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I didn't know dancing was dangerous where you'd need protection like that. lol
HAHA you have no idea... People push and shove, men randomly will just come up behind you.
It literally was so ridiculous that a guy whom was standing off in the distant had noticed guys would be trying to come up to my group of friends and we would just scoot them away to the point that guy in the distance would say to any guys getting near us "Move along guys, there is no way you are going to get near those girls."
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she meant tsa some dude ua thaj DOGGY STYLE from behind...so safety in number is what BD meant? Puas yog li kuv hais BD? lol
ua tsaug!
Ohhh yeah safety in numbers!
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No wonder it's still going strong.
How hard is it to count one or two?
Still counting, as referring to I am going to keep this relationship live and well! There is no divorce in my books like I previously stated unless he cheats on me vice versa or becomes abusive and vice versa, etc.
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Really? Sounds like you two agree on this. lol
HAHA you have no idea... People push and shove, men randomly will just come up behind you.
It literally was so ridiculous that a guy whom was standing off in the distant had noticed guys would be trying to come up to my group of friends and we would just scoot them away to the point that guy in the distance would say to any guys getting near us "Move along guys, there is no way you are going to get near those girls."
she meant tsa some dude ua thaj DOGGY STYLE from behind...so safety in number is what BD meant? Puas yog li kuv hais BD? lol
ua tsaug!
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"Vice versa" means you do that to him. Are you sure you know what is said here?
Still counting, as referring to I am going to keep this relationship live and well! There is no divorce in my books like I previously stated unless he cheats on me vice versa or becomes abusive and vice versa, etc.
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Really? Sounds like you two agree on this. lol
It's simple logic bro....LOL :D :D
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Still counting, as referring to I am going to keep this relationship live and well! There is no divorce in my books like I previously stated unless he cheats on me vice versa or becomes abusive and vice versa, etc.
Zoo heev mas.....i like confident woman who take charge of her marriage seriously. As I said to many young people...marri age is like a BUSINESS entity...if you manage your marriage like a business, it will prosperous in ways you never expected. Yog xav paub ntxim nug tau. :D :)
Ua Tsaug!
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"Vice versa" means you do that to him. Are you sure you know what is said here?
To reiterate what I just said is that not every argument and disagreement will end in divorce because we are to work on it together as two.
However I do not tolerate abuse and cheating in any forms and neither does he.
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Zoo heev mas.....i like confident woman who take charge of her marriage seriously. As I said to many young people...marri age is like a BUSINESS entity...if you manage your marriage like a business, it will prosperous in ways you never expected. Yog xav paub ntxim nug tau. :D :)
Ua Tsaug!
O0
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I suppose so, but my point was what is so bad about a married woman going clubbing for occasional events with her friends when she's being honest and truthful about it. I don't go there acting like I am single. I always ask for him to go along, but he rather not.
Nothing and the only opinions that should really matter is your and your husband..
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Ok.
Still counting, as referring to I am going to keep this relationship live and well! There is no divorce in my books like I previously stated unless he cheats on me vice versa or becomes abusive and vice versa, etc.
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Ok.
To reiterate what I just said is that not every argument and disagreement will end in divorce because we are to work on it together as two.
However I do not tolerate abuse and cheating in any forms and neither does he.
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It all depends on your definition of the club. I went clubbing with my friends who goes just to stand there, pull up their pants n do the rockaway, lean back. To them, that's fun so who am i to judge? Some sits all night at the bar. Some participate n secretly rubbing cooties behind the poor girl's butt. Some stands there n play pocket pool in their pockets. Im a participation kind of a guy. The first to dance n the last to leave. Think of clubbing like fishing. You go there to fish with the best bait and get an a+ for trying. Some don't even try n uses a metal spoon for bait. If you do it long enough, eventually a fish who needs glasses will bite your bait. You intention was not to hook up but if you do it long enough, you might get fascinated by someone that should of been the one for you. Besides, it is a numbers game after all right?
Then again, some people needs that scare to stop them in their ways. It is as though as their relationship needs validation of some kind. Without, you can not measure the true love for one another. Many will fail but if you can pass that test then you guys have nothing to worry about.
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Nothing and the only opinions that should really matter is your and your husband..
I'd agree. Besides, many of us are projecting. The truth isn't anything near as definitive as we'd all like to believe.
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HAHA you have no idea... People push and shove, men randomly will just come up behind you.
It literally was so ridiculous that a guy whom was standing off in the distant had noticed guys would be trying to come up to my group of friends and we would just scoot them away to the point that guy in the distance would say to any guys getting near us "Move along guys, there is no way you are going to get near those girls."
If you are a decent woman, why put yourself in such position for other guys to do that to you...? Some people just don't know to stay out of trouble...
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any woman who sees the club as a means to celebrate occasions don't have their priorities together. you're just going for the attention cause there's nothing but drunk sweaty men trying to have sex.
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^^ Those woman are not satisfied at home...
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any woman who sees the club as a means to celebrate occasions don't have their priorities together. you're just going for the attention cause there's nothing but drunk sweaty men trying to have sex.
You just dont know what it feels like to be a dancing machine. It is a high and suits people who loves to dance but have two left foot. The other part, i do not disagree. The club is like hell, full of sins n lust but it all depends 9n where are you observing this. From heaven yom?
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when it comes to bars and night clubs...a wise man will talk some sense into you and out of it. one who could careless will encourage you to party hardy til you drop and then take advantage of you. needless to say...it is fine to go on special occasions since the venue is often the bars and clubs and with permission slip signed (spousal approval).
don't be offended when others snitch on you, because they're most likely looking for your best interest...som etimes, it's a reminder that you've lost track of yourself and partying too often, to see the familiar faces.
a understanding husband will not be in your way of having fun even though he disagree with what you're doing, it only means he's less forgiving when you slip.
I would caution young married wives from partying, cause if they're hot like Maggie Q and should they cross the hot guy's path, he's going to take her into the darksyde.
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any woman who sees the club as a means to celebrate occasions don't have their priorities together. you're just going for the attention cause there's nothing but drunk sweaty men trying to have sex.
There goes another ignorant blanket statement...as not all women that go to the club don't have their priorities together and not all men that go are trying to have sex..
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Long story short I grew up in a pretty traditional family.
I was never allowed to go out late, sleep over at friends or relatives. No piercings, no tattoos and crazy colored hair was out of the picture.
So obviously growing up and reaching my early 20's I never drank, partied hard or did any substances of any sort. Never even experienced what a club was until I was 21.
Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.
Yes I am married; I never take my ring off. I make it clear I am married when men approach me and my Husband always knows where I am at and whom I am with.
He's doesn't drink and does not like to club and go to the bars.
One time I ran into his buddy, of course I said "Hi."
They always ask where my Husband is and I always give the same response "He's at home, bars and clubbing is not his scene."
Don't get me wrong I don't go out every weekend, but when I do it's always just the girls and there are a few that are indeed married.
Anyways fast forward, my Husband picked me up one night after I was out with my friends and we went out for some late night food and ran into his same buddy. His buddy's response was "Dang, you are one loyal guy, I keep running into your wife and I don't see you ever."
Which I assume is apparently a lot when we have only ran into each other twice and both times my Husband was aware of where and when I was.
I wanted to so badly speak my mind and say "Excuse me? Are you saying I am un-loyal because I am seen without him? And I am sorry you apparently have never heard of something called trust."
But I bit my tongue and did not say a thing.
Was I overthinking or not?
My Husband and I have talked over this matter before and he allows me to go out and hang out with friends. I always ask him if it bothers him that I go to the clubs or bars once in a while and he says no cause he trust me. But I can’t help but also feel bad. I have never cheated or done anything wrong. After a night of going out I always tell him how it went and if men approached me I tell him what happened and how I handled it. I tell him just because we share everything.
Was it wrong of me to be upset his friend said that?
No matter how much trust you both have, the perception by others on the outside will always be in question. If you've done nothing wrong, you need not worry. It's none of their business. You two know each other best. Trust.
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any woman who sees the club as a means to celebrate occasions don't have their priorities together. you're just going for the attention cause there's nothing but drunk sweaty men trying to have sex.
Clearly you are very narrow minded.
I know plenty of people who go to bars and club to celebrate occasions and still have their priorities together.
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There goes another ignorant blanket statement...
Plenty of those to go around 8)
I'm still unsure how some people still make an all encompassing statement and believe it to be fact.
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Clearly you are very narrow minded.
I know plenty of people who go to bars and club to celebrate occasions and still have their priorities together.
You're on PH. Don't be too shocked :D
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Clearly you are very narrow minded.
I know plenty of people who go to bars and club to celebrate occasions and still have their priorities together.
so you're one of the types of people who don't have their priorities together. good luck on your marriage.
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You're on PH. Don't be too shocked :D
;D ;D ;D
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to those who are against married people going to club "occasionally"....why limit to just single folks? married folks are human too, we like to have fun too. LOL
:D ;D O0
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Have known one another for over 7+ years ishhh
Dated for about 5 years
Married for a year and counting :)
Only 1 year and you're already clubbing. I hope you can stop. You won't blame the clubbing for any marriage issues, but everyone else will when issues happen.
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so you're one of the types of people who don't have their priorities together. good luck on your marriage.
if i can interject....(not defending BD)...but can you define "priorities"? She did said she's single....just married for a year....meanin g, no responsibility like married folks with kids yet. Should she NOT have some time for herself at times?
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While im not pointing anybody out but i do find a little bias coming from the divorcee side as clubs have ruin lives. A sour taste in a person's mouth is hard to get rid of.
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so you're one of the types of people who don't have their priorities together. good luck on your marriage.
Since being "Online" is number 2 behind "Work" for top places for married people to cheat according to a divorce lawyer, that means that you don't have your "priorities together" either and you will cheat and thus, cause your marriage to fail too since you're online now right?
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When you throw a pussycat into a room full of dogs, it gets eaten. ;)
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if i can interject....(not defending BD)...but can you define "priorities"? She did said she's single....just married for a year....meanin g, no responsibility like married folks with kids yet. Should she NOT have some time for herself at times?
no one is objecting to her going clubbing. it's called growing up. you kiddies in here can do all the kid stuff you like, just don't get mad when mature people tell you about your failing marriage and you get offended about it. :idiot2:
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if i can interject....(not defending BD)...but can you define "priorities"? She did said she's single....just married for a year....meanin g, no responsibility like married folks with kids yet. Should she NOT have some time for herself at times?
Married or not, some still have a perception that a girl/woman going to the club automatically means she's a bad person, poj laib, etc.. ::)
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There are clubs for single people n then there are places like stargate where your local aunts n uncles be rubbing cooties on the dance floor. The only difference is no one gets pregnant while doing so.
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no one is objecting to her going clubbing. it's called growing up. you kiddies in here can do all the kid stuff you like, just don't get mad when mature people tell you about your failing marriage and you get offended about it. :idiot2:
life is a learning journey...it takes experiences to live life....so as such, clubbing is one of life's learning experiences. :) :)
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There is another factor that you guys are missing. The key word here is occasion. So what is a tag along? If the party was underwater and you can't swim, will you still go?
I changes everything.
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any woman who sees the club as a means to celebrate occasions don't have their priorities together. you're just going for the attention cause there's nothing but drunk sweaty men trying to have sex.
say what?!?! I'm not there trying to have sex, I'm there to find a hot chick in a red dress who I can have a meaningful and loving relationship with...of course, that would be the only time i go to a bar or club. ;) :D
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life is a learning journey...it takes experiences to live life....so as such, clubbing is one of life's learning experiences. :) :)
OP can't be mad then when her next post is about how she's divorced since clubbing is a learning experience. :2funny:
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OP can't be mad then when her next post is about how she's divorced since clubbing is a learning experience. :2funny:
Renember that the husband is still in the dark so as long as he do not n can not be your friend in need then there is no way or warning coming from you or your likes.
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Married or not, some still have a perception that a girl/woman going to the club automatically means she's a bad person, poj laib, etc.. ::)
Its probably because a thoughtful lady would never intentionally showcase herself in a pickup joint full of horny men and believe its all innocent.
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OP can't be mad then when her next post is about how she's divorced since clubbing is a learning experience. :2funny:
Well, to be fair, if one of us came back and replied that our s/o left us because they met someone who wasn't so against occasional nights out at the club, then we'd be in the same boat.
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so you're one of the types of people who don't have their priorities together. good luck on your marriage.
I actually do thank you very much :)
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Only 1 year and you're already clubbing. I hope you can stop. You won't blame the clubbing for any marriage issues, but everyone else will when issues happen.
Clearly you misread everything else...
But yes, "married" for a year and I go to the bars and clubs occasionally with my husband's consent! Which I need to remind you of ;D
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if i can interject....(not defending BD)...but can you define "priorities"? She did said she's single....just married for a year....meanin g, no responsibility like married folks with kids yet. Should she NOT have some time for herself at times?
Let me just add to this,
Yes we have been married for a year. But we have been together for over 5 years.
We currently have no kids and both him and I are still in our early 20's
We have our priorities together. We live on our own, we own a house, we own three cars, and we both also happen to both work full time jobs so where in there do you see that we clearly don't have our priorities in line?
But because I occasionally go clubbing or to the bars once again with the consent of my husband I all of a sudden got my priorities not lined up?
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You may walk in with innocent intentions to just party and have a good time with friends but go often enough and cheating will start. Honestly if I were a married woman, I wouldn't go to such places unless the hubby went to.
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You may walk in with innocent intentions to just party and have a good time with friends but go often enough and cheating will start. Honestly if I were a married woman, I wouldn't go to such places unless the hubby went to.
Understandable, which I don't go a lot.
But I guess that is besides the point cause everyone is now assuming I go a lot ahaha
But yes, agreed I would always rather have him going but he's not a drinker/dancer club goer so he rather not go.
But he also understands that for me to go to his events he enjoys and wants me to go to he must compromise and do the same.
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Let me just add to this,
Yes we have been married for a year. But we have been together for over 5 years.
We currently have no kids and both him and I are still in our early 20's
We have our priorities together. We live on our own, we own a house, we own three cars, and we both also happen to both work full time jobs so where in there do you see that we clearly don't have our priorities in line?
But because I occasionally go clubbing or to the bars once again with the consent of my husband I all of a sudden got my priorities not lined up?
And to ADD to that....
don't let others' opinions ruin you from enjoying your fun responsibly! In life, we work to play....you're exercising that freedom and I hope you'd play to the fullest, cuz when he knocks you up....your clubbing life is OVER! So ENJOY while you still can.
Ua TsauG!
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And to ADD to that....
don't let others' opinions ruin you from enjoying your fun responsibly! In life, we work to play....you're exercising that freedom and I hope you'd play to the fullest, cuz when he knocks you up....your clubbing life is OVER! So ENJOY while you still can.
Ua TsauG!
I won't but yes, he knows very well that I want to travel and both enjoy just us before we really have kids and settle down.
Thanks!
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Clearly you misread everything else...
But yes, "married" for a year and I go to the bars and clubs occasionally with my husband's consent! Which I need to remind you of ;D
You already know there's some guilt there and you already feel there's something clearly wrong when you NEED his CONSENT before doing it.
It's like I said earlier:
"..a thoughtful lady would never intentionally showcase herself in a pickup joint full of horny men and believe its all innocent."
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I donut think this is the place for discussing your situation, we can discussing over lunch at your favorite restaurant, what u say?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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You already know there's some guilt there and you already feel there's something clearly wrong when you NEED his CONSENT before doing it.
It's like I said earlier:
"..a thoughtful lady would never intentionally showcase herself in a pickup joint full of horny men and believe its all innocent."
Yeah cause I let him know where I am going and when and with whom. Yes, I ask my husband if he minds me going or if he is ok with it.
Sorry, I don't just get up and go where ever I please with out asking or letting him know where I am going...
But sure if that's what you presume to be correct I won't convince you otherwise ;D
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I won't but yes, he knows very well that I want to travel and both enjoy just us before we really have kids and settle down.
Thanks!
having kids is over rated....LOL.. ..live life kids free as long as possible....lo l. :) O0
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having kids is over rated....LOL.. ..live life kids free as long as possible....lo l. :) O0
HAHA I think my puppy will buy him a few years until he starts mentioning kids again!
Thankfully, he understands we need a few years and has been good with the puppy so far haha!
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OP will not like or appreciate my opinion but so be it.
When married women are hanging out at the bar, they are mostly up to no good. Why? When a bunch of what some would call "attention seeking whoorees" are out at the bar what do you think they are up to?. You see, the longer the women get married to their men, the fatter they become and their lenses through which they look at themselves becomes quite blurried through the years. Women's way of putting themselves to the test to see if they still look "attractive/sexually desirable to the opposite sex is to hang out at the bar looking like there's no string attached to see if they get hit by random bar goers to boost their low self-esteem. I have plenty of examples of women behaving at the bars but this may not be an appropriate forum for it. Plus, confidentialit y if the identities of some of these woman may be in compromised so I'll leave those clips out.
Consider me a "caveman" with cave man's mentality but she ain't hanging out with a bunch of intoxicated kocksuckers any day as long as she's with me.
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Yeah cause I let him know where I am going and when and with whom. Yes, I ask my husband if he minds me going or if he is ok with it.
Sorry, I don't just get up and go where ever I please with out asking or letting him know where I am going...
But sure if that's what you presume to be correct I won't convince you otherwise ;D
It's alright, I'm not really trying to convince you to stop. It's not my problem how you choose to run your marriage. I'm just pointing the bad out. I never expect those who are too close to the situation to believe it. Even when the marriage goes sour, there will be other factors to blame it on. Besides, people like to learn the hard way. You can tell them and tell them but they will not listen until they go through it. That's called living. I'm just really saying all this so that others can watch it and learn from it. If you can make it work, that's great, but know that you will be in the very small minority since married folks who go clubbing tend to end up divorced. It's like swimming upstream. Plus I will say it again just to make sure you read it one more time: "..a thoughtful lady would never intentionally showcase herself in a pickup joint full of horny men and believe its all innocent."
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It's alright, I'm not really trying to convince you to stop. It's not my problem how you choose to run your marriage. I'm just pointing the bad out. I never expect those who are too close to the situation to believe it. Even when the marriage goes sour, there will be other factors to blame it on. Besides, people like to learn the hard way. You can tell them and tell them but they will not listen until they go through it. That's called living. I'm just really saying all this so that others can watch it and learn from it. If you can make it work, that's great, but know that you will be in the very small minority since married folks who go clubbing tend to end up divorced. It's like swimming upstream. Plus I will say it again just to make sure you read it one more time: "..a thoughtful lady would never intentionally showcase herself in a pickup joint full of horny men and believe its all innocent."
O0
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BD...temptatio n is everywhere...j ust walk away when you feel it's dragging you towards it....resist, and resist again. If you can't resist it anymore...surr ender to it and be happy. :) :D O0
Marriage is like an institution, we can walk away anytime we want, preferably in good terms. No one can predict the future what it's going to be like. :) O0
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Mmm. A bunch of prudes.
All kidding aside, you know yourself and your situation better than anyone of us. Whatever works for you, do so.
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BD...temptation is everywhere...j ust walk away when you feel it's dragging you towards it....resist, and resist again. If you can't resist it anymore...surr ender to it and be happy. :) :D O0
Marriage is like an institution, we can walk away anytime we want, preferably in good terms. No one can predict the future what it's going to be like. :) O0
Based on some replies, some of these institutions sound more like a prison ;D
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Based on some replies, some of these institutions sound more like a prison ;D
That's why one shouldn't commit crime if one doesn't care to be in prison.
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Define crime.
It's fair to say what you may find punishable, I may not. Especially in the context of this thread.
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Based on some replies, some of these institutions sound more like a prison ;D
LOL...some have great people working for each other...some don't...take your pick. LOL :D ;D
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Define crime.
It's fair to say what you may find punishable, I may not. Especially in the context of this thread.
All crimes are punishable by law; in various degrees of course. Don't commit crime in the first place if you want to be acting like you have no string attached.
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LOL...some have great people working for each other...some don't...take your pick. LOL :D ;D
Exactly. But many of us would still rather choose to paint with solid broad strokes.
OP's gone from occasional nights out to being a Stargate Frequent Flyer Card Member Holder in one post.
Did everyone forget where many of these "Hmong Concerts" are held? ::)
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Exactly. But many of us would still rather paint with a one solid broad stroke.
OP's gone from occasional nights out to being a Stargate Frequent Flyer Card Member Holder in one post.
Did everyone forget where many of these "Hmong Concerts" are held? ::)
HAHAHAHA.....i t takes just one post to be famous in PH....we all knew that, right?! LOL Point is....At the end of the night, as long as BD crawl in bed with the "LION" is all that matter...the wolves at the club can drool all they want, it ain't going get some of her meat. LOL ;D
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Its probably because a thoughtful lady would never intentionally showcase herself in a pickup joint full of horny men and believe its all innocent.
In that case then, make sure your daughters don't "showcase" themselves at "pickup" place like the Hmong New Years and/or parties as there are plenty of "horny men" there too...And many of them are 2-3 times older than your daughters...Be cause if they attend then they are not "thoughtful" based on your view.
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Clearly you misread everything else...
But yes, "married" for a year and I go to the bars and clubs occasionally with my husband's consent! Which I need to remind you of ;D
He has a habit of "misread"...so he rather just assume without any evidence to back it up.. ;D
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HAHAHAHA.....it takes just one post to be famous in PH....we all knew that, right?! LOL Point is....At the end of the night, as long as BD crawl in bed with the "LION" is all that matter...the wolves at the club can drool all they want, it ain't going get some of her meat. LOL ;D
;D ;D ;D
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It would't take much for the right wolf at the right moment to take that piece of meat from a lazy lion who sits around guarding that invisible animal carcass.
I'm not here to promote church or church services but attending church may make people's marriages and family a healthier unit as a whole some good.
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Exactly. But many of us would still rather choose to paint with solid broad strokes.
OP's gone from occasional nights out to being a Stargate Frequent Flyer Card Member Holder in one post.
Did everyone forget where many of these "Hmong Concerts" are held? ::)
You are making too much sense, it may blow up the views of folks with short sighted narrow views... ;D
You know those that can only see cheating at a club but not at work, home or even at a church eventhough factual evidence says otherwise..
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I actually do thank you very much :)
then why are you in here asking a childish question in hopes that you can reaffirm your beliefs :idiot2:
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It would't take much for the right wolf at the right moment to take that piece of meat from a lazy lion who sits around guarding that invisible animal carcass.
I'm not here to promote church or church services but attending church may make people's marriages and family a healthier unit as a whole some good.
But...no. From my own personal experience, church becomes a crutch, a weekend pass to do whatever some individuals want. Again, that's my own personal experience. And my background is deeply rooted in CMA. Indoctrinated in Denver, CO early 1980's. That's grassroots, man.
But I digress. To each his or her own.
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then why are you in here asking a childish question in hopes that you can reaffirm your beliefs :idiot2:
Probably because many of us come here for sh*ts and giggles.
I'd suggest we not take all advice from members in here.
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It would't take much for the right wolf at the right moment to take that piece of meat from a lazy lion who sits around guarding that invisible animal carcass.
LOL...true, but unless she let the wolf near....it ain't going to get any.....the LION's share is a COMPLETE meal/carcass...LOL :D
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Probably because many of us come here for sh*ts and giggles.
I'd suggest we not take all advice from members in here.
she asked and people answered and got offended
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In that case then, make sure your daughters don't "showcase" themselves at "pickup" place like the Hmong New Years and/or parties as there are plenty of "horny men" there too...And many of them are 2-3 times older than your daughters...Be cause if they attend then they are not "thoughtful" based on your view.
LOL Ohhhh man the Hmong New Year and J4 is huge when it comes to picking up girls hahaha ;D
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she asked and people answered and got offended
No worries not offended here just was curious to what everyone thought
We are all opened to our own opinions and thoughts that I may or may not agree too ;D
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He has a habit of "misread"...so he rather just assume without any evidence to back it up.. ;D
It's all good, it is what it is.
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Mmm. A bunch of prudes.
All kidding aside, you know yourself and your situation better than anyone of us. Whatever works for you, do so.
Will do O0
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It's okay for you to be upset with his friend, but don't hold a grudge. He does have a point after all. We don't know how often you go out, but obviously enough for someone to point it out. Perhaps now is the time for you to reevaluate your values and priorities.
Your husband may or may not already express how he feels about you going out, but you have to know better. It will get old with you gone all the time and your husband will eventually head for the hills. We as women have to know how to keep our men occupied too no matter how much they say they don't care if we go out.
I grew up with strictish parents too who didn't? As soon as I turned 18 though I was allowed to go clubbing and my parents rules were that as long as I stay in school, finish, and was responsible. I partied a lot up to 23 years old then got married a few years after, so I had my fair share of clubbing, but I can't say that is the reason why I don't club anymore after marriage because I know so many people who still do even after marriage. It's a choice, don't blame your parents for you wanting to go out clubbing.
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It's okay for you to be upset with his friend, but don't hold a grudge. He does have a point after all. We don't know how often you go out, but obviously enough for someone to point it out. Perhaps now is the time for you to reevaluate your values and priorities.
Your husband may or may not already express how he feels about you going out, but you have to know better. It will get old with you gone all the time and your husband will eventually head for the hills. We as women have to know how to keep our men occupied too no matter how much they say they don't care if we go out.
I grew up with strictish parents too who didn't? As soon as I turned 18 though I was allowed to go clubbing and my parents rules were that as long as I stay in school, finish, and was responsible. I partied a lot up to 23 years old then got married a few years after, so I had my fair share of clubbing, but I can't say that is the reason why I don't club anymore after marriage because I know so many people who still do even after marriage. It's a choice, don't blame your parents for you wanting to go out clubbing.
Understandable, yeah he knows it's not often that I go to the bars and clubs, but we came to an agreement that if I were to go out and ask him to go with me he would go with also.
Yeah I don't blame my parents but I never got to really enjoy being a teenager, which is has it's pros and cons and now that I am older and no kids yet, I want to be able to enjoy things I never got to. Obviously it doesn't mean club, bars and drink and make bad decisions, but to travel and attend events/concerts and activities I never got to. But I too also understand it's not easy to be doing everything you want to when you are married, it's not just "you," it is "we." Thankfully my Husband is understanding and willingly to always try new things with me!
We went to our first ever concert together and we will now be going to our very first trip together!
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In that case then, make sure your daughters don't "showcase" themselves at "pickup" place like the Hmong New Years and/or parties as there are plenty of "horny men" there too...And many of them are 2-3 times older than your daughters...Be cause if they attend then they are not "thoughtful" based on your view.
Nothing wrong with a woman showcasing herself if she's single, duh.. Plus single women know why they're there, they don't pretend it's all innocent. ;)
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Understandable, yeah he knows it's not often that I go to the bars and clubs, but we came to an agreement that if I were to go out and ask him to go with me he would go with also.
Yeah I don't blame my parents but I never got to really enjoy being a teenager, which is has it's pros and cons and now that I am older and no kids yet, I want to be able to enjoy things I never got to. Obviously it doesn't mean club, bars and drink and make bad decisions, but to travel and attend events/concerts and activities I never got to. But I too also understand it's not easy to be doing everything you want to when you are married, it's not just "you," it is "we." Thankfully my Husband is understanding and willingly to always try new things with me!
We went to our first ever concert together and we will now be going to our very first trip together!
So the summary of all this is:
1. Got married to get away from parent's controlling nature so you can go out to bars with friends.
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LOL Ohhhh man the Hmong New Year and J4 is huge when it comes to picking up girls hahaha ;D
Some still think the type of place is to blame when it comes married people "cheating" and/or causing "marriage to fail" and that's not really the case. Even without evidence to back up their painting everyone with a broad brush ignorant claims, they still make those false assumptions for everyone because in their little bubbles, it's true so it must be true for everyone else too.. :idiot2:
Based on what I've seen, the club doesn't even rank as high as being online in terms of married folks cheating so since we're online, we are cheating RIGHT NOW!!!... ::)
Fact is a type of place doesn't matter much but the individual that made his/her decision to cheat does. If a person wants to cheat, he/she can do it anywhere i.e., work, their own home, school, church, shopping malls, online, etc., ...Hell, even the church ranked higher than the club... ;D
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So the summary of all this is:
1. Got married to get away from parent's controlling nature so you can go out to bars with friends.
Nope, got married cause we have been together for a while. Yes, were were somewhat pressured to get married, but I don't regret it at all.
Like I said I am still young and marriage is no excuse to stop me from being able to live my life. Yes, I go to the bars and clubs (occasionally) but from this point forward if I do anymore it will be with my husband :)
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Some still think the type of place is to blame when it comes married people "cheating" and/or causing "marriage to fail" and that's not really the case. Even without evidence to back up their painting everyone with a broad brush ignorant claims, they still make those false assumptions for everyone because in their little bubbles, it's true so it must be true for everyone else too.. :idiot2:
Based on what I've seen, the club doesn't even rank as high as being online in terms of married folks cheating so since we're online, we are cheating RIGHT NOW!!!... ::)
Fact is a type of place doesn't matter much but the individual that made his/her decision to cheat does. If a person wants to cheat, he/she can do it anywhere i.e., work, their own home, school, church, shopping malls, online, etc., ...Hell, even the church ranked higher than the club... ;D
;D O0
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Nothing wrong with a woman showcasing herself if she's single, duh.. Plus single women know why they're there, they don't pretend it's all innocent. ;)
And not all married women go to clubs to "showcase" themselves or "cheat" or are not "thoughtful" either...Espec ially those that are upfront and have even encouraged their spouse to go with them like the OP.
Since work, church and being online ranks higher than the club for married people to cheat, if your spouse does any of that, she's cheating on you...no ifs, and, or buts... ::)
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Nope, got married cause we have been together for a while. Yes, were were somewhat pressured to get married, but I don't regret it at all.
Like I said I am still young and marriage is no excuse to stop me from being able to live my life. Yes, I go to the bars and clubs (occasionally) but from this point forward if I do anymore it will be with my husband :)
1. You and your husband are OK with that arrangement.
2. Nothing illegal.
= It's all good... O0...I mean it's such a simple concept to see but some are still blinded by their short sighted narrow view... ;D
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Understandable, yeah he knows it's not often that I go to the bars and clubs, but we came to an agreement that if I were to go out and ask him to go with me he would go with also.
Yeah I don't blame my parents but I never got to really enjoy being a teenager, which is has it's pros and cons and now that I am older and no kids yet, I want to be able to enjoy things I never got to. Obviously it doesn't mean club, bars and drink and make bad decisions, but to travel and attend events/concerts and activities I never got to. But I too also understand it's not easy to be doing everything you want to when you are married, it's not just "you," it is "we." Thankfully my Husband is understanding and willingly to always try new things with me!
We went to our first ever concert together and we will now be going to our very first trip together!
I'm not trying to be rude.
You sound funny for someone who said been dating your husband for 5/6 yrs before you two got married about a year now. Either you got strict ass parents who didn't let you do anything. Meaning your husband while dating you only visit you at home? Now that you're married you want to do everything. I thought when you date someone you will find the spark in them. Know what they like, what you two might have in common, etc. I know dating and marriage is different but somehow you will find way to make it work....... I see you two are just discovering each other NOW. WHICH is YAX keep pointing out CONSENT. I agreed a lot with what he is saying along with Can.
There are many type of traditional Hmong parent. Traditional doesn't mean their mind is just old fashioned. Strict Hmong parents like yours are the same one like those I grew up with. I just want to give their parents the middle finger. Strict like that doesnt mean their kids will turn out good.
Back to club. Going 2/3x or every once in a while is like going 100x to Hmong people who gossips. Especially since your husband didn't go with you. It's why his friend is cracking joke that he's too loyal. I won't say too much about club because it ruins enough lives out there that I know. If that what someone like to do then it's their problem. To me going to a club in my book is just a way to look for trouble, get drunk, be wild, etc. Not a place to celebrate a special occasion or a excuse to wind down because you had a stressful day. Everyone see it different but strictly to me club is NOT a place I want to be. It's the same like college party..... you know it will involved some drinking and then waking up the next morning in bed not knowing you just been date rape. When it come to date rape....I don't have sympathy for anyone in that situation. With clubbing ruining their life.....you only have yourself to blame.
We are all here just to speak our mind so don't take anything too serious as we don't know you. Sometime people say one thing but it mean something else. You just have to do what is best for your marriage. No excuses just because you seem to miss out a little/lot during your youth years. There are many way to have fun and celebrate.
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I'm not trying to be rude.
You sound funny for someone who said been dating your husband for 5/6 yrs before you two got married about a year now. Either you got strict ass parents who didn't let you do anything. Meaning your husband while dating you only visit you at home? Now that you're married you want to do everything. I thought when you date someone you will find the spark in them. Know what they like, what you two might have in common, etc. I know dating and marriage is different but somehow you will find way to make it work....... I see you two are just discovering each other NOW. WHICH is YAX keep pointing out CONSENT. I agreed a lot with what he is saying along with Can.
There are many type of traditional Hmong parent. Traditional doesn't mean their mind is just old fashioned. Strict Hmong parents like yours are the same one like those I grew up with. I just want to give their parents the middle finger. Strict like that doesnt mean their kids will turn out good.
Back to club. Going 2/3x or every once in a while is like going 100x to Hmong people who gossips. Especially since your husband didn't go with you. It's why his friend is cracking joke that he's too loyal. I won't say too much about club because it ruins enough lives out there that I know. If that what someone like to do then it's their problem. To me going to a club in my book is just a way to look for trouble, get drunk, be wild, etc. Not a place to celebrate a special occasion or a excuse to wind down because you had a stressful day. Everyone see it different but strictly to me club is NOT a place I want to be. It's the same like college party..... you know it will involved some drinking and then waking up the next morning in bed not knowing you just been date rape. When it come to date rape....I don't have sympathy for anyone in that situation. With clubbing ruining their life.....you only have yourself to blame.
We are all here just to speak our mind so don't take anything too serious as we don't know you. Sometime people say one thing but it mean something else. You just have to do what is best for your marriage. No excuses just because you seem to miss out a little/lot during your youth years. There are many way to have fun and celebrate.
Not doing everything, but still do things I never got to do.
But yes, literally I have gone maybe 3 or 4 times to the club in the past years and it all of a sudden others see it as 100x times!
In all conclusion, I don't plan on going anytime soon and if it's for a friend's birthday or event or something he said he would go with.
Understandable, as yes you are correct no one on PH knows me or my life and everyone has their own opinions and thoughts and so forth. O0
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I'm not trying to be rude.
You sound funny for someone who said been dating your husband for 5/6 yrs before you two got married about a year now. Either you got strict ass parents who didn't let you do anything. Meaning your husband while dating you only visit you at home? Now that you're married you want to do everything. I thought when you date someone you will find the spark in them. Know what they like, what you two might have in common, etc. I know dating and marriage is different but somehow you will find way to make it work....... I see you two are just discovering each other NOW. WHICH is YAX keep pointing out CONSENT. I agreed a lot with what he is saying along with Can.
There are many type of traditional Hmong parent. Traditional doesn't mean their mind is just old fashioned. Strict Hmong parents like yours are the same one like those I grew up with. I just want to give their parents the middle finger. Strict like that doesnt mean their kids will turn out good.
Back to club. Going 2/3x or every once in a while is like going 100x to Hmong people who gossips. Especially since your husband didn't go with you. It's why his friend is cracking joke that he's too loyal. I won't say too much about club because it ruins enough lives out there that I know. If that what someone like to do then it's their problem. To me going to a club in my book is just a way to look for trouble, get drunk, be wild, etc. Not a place to celebrate a special occasion or a excuse to wind down because you had a stressful day. Everyone see it different but strictly to me club is NOT a place I want to be. It's the same like college party..... you know it will involved some drinking and then waking up the next morning in bed not knowing you just been date rape. When it come to date rape....I don't have sympathy for anyone in that situation. With clubbing ruining their life.....you only have yourself to blame.
We are all here just to speak our mind so don't take anything too serious as we don't know you. Sometime people say one thing but it mean something else. You just have to do what is best for your marriage. No excuses just because you seem to miss out a little/lot during your youth years. There are many way to have fun and celebrate.
Not doing everything, but still do things I never got to do.
But yes, literally I have gone maybe 3 or 4 times to the club in the past years and it all of a sudden others see it as 100x times!
In all conclusion, I don't plan on going anytime soon and if it's for a friend's birthday or event or something he said he would go with.
Understandable, as yes you are correct no one on PH knows me or my life and everyone has their own opinions and thoughts and so forth. O0
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To me going to a club in my book is just a way to look for trouble, get drunk, be wild, etc. Not a place to celebrate a special occasion or a excuse to wind down because you had a stressful day. Everyone see it different but strictly to me club is NOT a place I want to be.
who in the heck decides that a good place to celebrate an occasion is to go to a place where there's drunk sweaty people trying to rub all over you :2funny: :idiot2:
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who in the heck decides that a good place to celebrate an occasion is to go to a place where there's drunk sweaty people trying to rub all over you :2funny: :idiot2:
Some of the Hmong divorcees (makes&females) in the Twin Cities area should each get a "GOLD CLUB MEMBER" tattooed on their foreheads And they shouldn't have to pay for drinks cuz they could grind like there's no tomorrow.
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why nej pheem cem lawv ua dabtsi nas? Yog lawv phem npau nej hais ces lawv tsis muaj neej ua lawm mas...some of them yeej yog mommies/daddies thiab nas! Lawv khwv khwv kawg li, lawv thiaj li muaj kev lomzem mas...tsis txhob cem cem lawv lawm nawb! O0 O0
Ua TsauG!
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some of them yeej yog mommies/daddies thiab nas!
kids shouldn't be having kids :idiot2:
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who in the heck decides that a good place to celebrate an occasion is to go to a place where there's drunk sweaty people trying to rub all over you :2funny: :idiot2:
Many people do, in fact. Think of the all the benefits, fundraisers and concerts that use the nightclubs (Hmong owned included) as their given venue. Where do many Hmong people end up during the evening those 3 hot days in July? Just my observations living in a community where the Hmong population numbers 66K plus.
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kids shouldn't be having kids :idiot2:
seriously??? we're all kids at heart! don't insult people who know how to enjoy life as childish.
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blogger... can we just see your picture?
I think this is all what this thread is boiling down too...
So show us your picture!!!
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blogger... can we just see your picture?
I think this is all what this thread is boiling down too...
So show us your picture!!!
HAHAHA sorry. I rather not.
I prefer to stay anonymous
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seriously??? we're all kids at heart! don't insult people who know how to enjoy life as childish.
We are all kids at heart haha, there are times to be serious and be an adult.
There are also times to not take things so serious and enjoy things that kids do haha.
For example I still enjoy watching Disney movies! :DDDD
And apparently my husband is super excited to see the new Power Rangers movie coming out hahah!
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seriously??? we're all kids at heart! don't insult people who know how to enjoy life as childish.
you can't enjoy life when you're a kid in your 20's on welfare raising your kids :2funny:
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who in the heck decides that a good place to celebrate an occasion is to go to a place where there's drunk sweaty people trying to rub all over you :2funny: :idiot2:
Some people do.
For example people celebrate 21st birthday by going to the bars or clubs.
Bachelor/Bachelorette parties do primarily take place at the bars or clubs.
Concerts sometimes happen at bars or clubs.
etc...
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HAHAHA sorry. I rather not.
I prefer to stay anonymous
OMG...all you have to do was post a Maggie Q photo and it would have been quite a traffic jam!! LOL :D :D ;D
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OMG...all you have to do was post a Maggie Q photo and it would have been quite a traffic jam!! LOL :D :D ;D
HAHA I seriously was going to just google her and post her picture ;D
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We are all kids at heart haha, there are times to be serious and be an adult.
There are also times to not take things so serious and enjoy things that kids do haha.
For example I still enjoy watching Disney movies! :DDDD
And apparently my husband is super excited to see the new Power Rangers movie coming out hahah!
Exactly...I still enjoy Transformers, He-Man, and She-Ra...thunder cats...etcs.LO L :D :D
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HAHA I seriously was going to just google her and post her picture ;D
while you at it...please post a backside of yourself...K.
Maggie Q's front and your back?
Ua Tsaug!
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Exactly...I still enjoy Transformers, He-Man, and She-Ra...thunder cats...etcs.LO L :D :D
Ohhh man I have not heard of those in the longest time.
They would never play until super late late at night.
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while you at it...please post a backside of yourself...K.
Maggie Q's front and your back?
Ua Tsaug!
;D
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Ohhh man I have not heard of those in the longest time.
They would never play until super late late at night.
I used to wake up every day to watch He-Man and Thundercats! lol :D ;D
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;D
You know....this is HOW you get the guys in here to BACK YOU up against any potential threat! LOL Learn from me, K. :)
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So the club has a strict vibe to it like how a jumping club has no fat people. Fat people goes to other fat people club by the way. Unless you have 5 fat chicks to form a circle and takes up the whole dance floor.
You know that single people hate married or taken people at the club right? They hate cuz you don't belong there according to them. Nobody wants to rub up a taken chick n has to deal with a blk eye later from the husband. So ask yourself, why go to an arena where it does not cater to you or your kind of interest. I mean you dont see me crashing a prenatal party now do you? They have time to hate you taken folks first b4 they get on a fat chick case. Imagine that! Fat over you. Fyi something to think about.
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Some people do.
For example people celebrate 21st birthday by going to the bars or clubs.
so you're saying you have a lot of growing up to do still :2funny: :idiot2:
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So the club has a strict vibe to it like how a jumping club has no fat people. Fat people goes to other fat people club by the way. Unless you have 5 fat chicks to form a circle and takes up the whole dance floor.
You know that single people hate married or taken people at the club right? They hate cuz you don't belong there according to them. Nobody wants to rub up a taken chick n has to deal with a blk eye later from the husband. So ask yourself, why go to an arena where it does not cater to you or your kind of interest. I mean you dont see me crashing a prenatal party now do you? They have time to hate you taken folks first b4 they get on a fat chick case. Imagine that! Fat over you. Fyi something to think about.
does the club have a sign at the front door that said..."SINGLE ONLY"? If not, please take this crap elsewhere! A club exist for one sole purpose....and that purpose is to make money on people's boredom or lack of entertainment at home. Shit, I'm married, but sometimes, i like to get away from the wife and kids for a few hours just to have a couple drinks in the absence of a spouse to "energize" myself in this modernized world a little. :) O0
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who in the heck decides that a good place to celebrate an occasion is to go to a place where there's drunk sweaty people trying to rub all over you :2funny: :idiot2:
That tells me that you know nothing about clubs except making broad false assumptions about it. That's like someone saying, 'Who the heck go to the Hmong New Year celebration with gangs fights, organizers bickering, and greedy people all over the place'...
Lexicon already pointed out but some people do go to clubs just to hang out with friends and/or families to celebrate occasions and what not..but in your short sighted narrow view, seems like all you see is club= cheating, fail marriage.
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BD,
Even if your a single Hmong woman and/or even if your husband goes with you to the clubs, haters still gonna hate...That's just how it is in the Hmong community...Un fortunately.
As single Hmong woman, you'll get the "poj Laib" label from some..
As a married couple, you two will get the "married people going to the club is immoral" label from some backward primitives with short sighted narrow views...simply because they either hate the clubs or know nothing about it.
Since being "online" ranked higher than the "clubs" for married people to cheat, I don't know why all those primitives are on here bashing your choice...Can you say HYPOCRITES? ??? ;D
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does the club have a sign at the front door that said..."SINGLE ONLY"?
here you go ;D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmiVlyAfTnw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmiVlyAfTnw)
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That tells me that you know nothing about clubs except making broad false assumptions about it.
O0 Sometimes it's better to know nothing about something. This might be one of those times.
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does the club have a sign at the front door that said..."SINGLE ONLY"? If not, please take this crap elsewhere! A club exist for one sole purpose....and that purpose is to make money on people's boredom or lack of entertainment at home. Shit, I'm married, but sometimes, i like to get away from the wife and kids for a few hours just to have a couple drinks in the absence of a spouse to "energize" myself in this modernized world a little. :) O0
Come to my house n i will have a sign for you. Same kind of music but bring your own biatch.
Some things are define as is. Like trump. Do you need a sign on his forehead to show you why he sounds anti foreigners?
Show me a club where no booty chasing allow and you will own the world
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Come to my house n i will have a sign for you. Same kind of music but bring your own biatch.
Some things are define as is. Like trump. Do you need a sign on his forehead to show you why he sounds anti foreigners?
Show me a club where no booty chasing allow and you will own the world
a house is a private entity, so as such, you can do whatever you want...try pulling a "SINGLE ONLY" sign on a public establishment and you'll be out of business before you even started. O0
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O0 Sometimes it's better to know nothing about something. This might be one of those times.
And yet, talking like knowing for a fact that the clubs are only for cheating and causing marriages to fail... ;D
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a house is a private entity, so as such, you can do whatever you want...try pulling a "SINGLE ONLY" sign on a public establishment and you'll be out of business before you even started. O0
Off tangent, but your mention of house party made me think about my first Hmong house party I ever went to. Walked in through the door and was immediately offered pills (assuming it was X). Random girls were making out and singing in the adjoining room. I was torn between drugs or sex, literally. Went with option C, grabbed a beer and went out back. 1, I don't do drugs and 2, too dark to see what those girls looked like >:D :2funny:
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HAHAHA sorry. I rather not.
I prefer to stay anonymous
C'mon now!
You already going to the bars and clubs...
Just show a picture!
It's basically the same thing!
Go put on some make up! Some fake eyelashes...
And take a picture and post it!
That way then all the guy can be like talk more sh.it...
and all the girls can like talk more sh.it too..
The guys be saying things like blah blah blah see that's why your man should worry! or see, that's why guys be trying to to talk to you..
and the the girls be saying "why you dressing like that you married!?" etc etc.
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Helloing.. a friend of a friend telling me that he getting more sexy time from girls from church than from the clubs.. I believing him he donut lying much.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Bars and clubs?! Look at the frequency of some of the posters here. Kinda makes you wonder, "what's really going on?"... 😂😂😂
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Read all 16 pages minus certain members' posts… ::)
He may agree but he's only doing it because y'all still newlyweds and he wants you to be happy. It will get old fast. Or is the question, when will it get old? As if clubbing is so exciting to begin with right?? I suppose I should expect to see commercials of kids saying "when I grow up, I want to be a clubber" instead of them wanting to be doctors and astronauts. Aim for the excitement! ::)
I also read that there's a score board already as far as I get to do stuff in return for doing attending his events. This scoreboard stuff is not healthy for marriage at all. Pretty soon, one partner could be in the hole and the other will collect big time. Marriage is not a game. Don't keep score. :idiot2:
What is he doing when you go out? Does he have to send reports in like you do? Or is his leash limitless??
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Read all 16 pages minus certain members' posts… ::)
He may agree but he's only doing it because y'all still newlyweds and he wants you to be happy. It will get old fast. Or is the question, when will it get old? As if clubbing is so exciting to begin with right?? I suppose I should expect to see commercials of kids saying "when I grow up, I want to be a clubber" instead of them wanting to be doctors and astronauts. Aim for the excitement! ::)
I also read that there's a score board already as far as I get to do stuff in return for doing attending his events. This scoreboard stuff is not healthy for marriage at all. Pretty soon, one partner could be in the hole and the other will collect big time. Marriage is not a game. Don't keep score. :idiot2:
What is he doing when you go out? Does he have to send reports in like you do? Or is his leash limitless??
what you're saying only makes you a hypocrite according to some in here who don't know what the words means :2funny: :idiot2:
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when i grow up i want to be a clubber.
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Some of you folks are so f-in backwards. Just because a married woman goes out does not mean her marriage is cracking or she wants to cheat. What I hate most is the idea that once a Hmong woman marries, her life before marriage ends. Hmong men are afforded those same expectations!! I have a partner and while I love him a lot. He is by no means my best friend nor does he tell me who and where I should go and hang with.
You do you.
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what you're saying only makes you a hypocrite according to some in here who don't know what the words means :2funny: :idiot2:
Explain to me in engrish and crayons please… :dontknow: :dontknow:
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Some of you folks are so f-in backwards. Just because a married woman goes out does not mean her marriage is cracking or she wants to cheat. What I hate most is the idea that once a Hmong woman marries, her life before marriage ends. Hmong men are afforded those same expectations!! I have a partner and while I love him a lot. He is by no means my best friend nor does he tell me who and where I should go and hang with.
You do you.
Do you all you want as a single person. ::)
When you get married, you have to be considerate of another person. For hamongs, that may include consideration for his/her immediate family and perhaps their clan. That is the Hmong way, like it or not.
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btw, where is this Hmong club where you can go meet married women out for a little innocent fun? ;D
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U can we see your picture too?
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looks like this thread is still partying? it's friday..we all should go to a bar or club, because je veux te baiser!
I feel married folks should not party, because when your at the DAB's playgroung, it's all fair games. if you don't want your hot wife, looking like Maggie Q, to get hit on, best to keep her locked up. it becomes a problem with every weekend is a special event!
HOWEVER!!! we should let our women have fun and let others drool over our hot wives...cause it would be a sad sad day, when nooneever recognizes the wife for the beauty that she is...makes me even sadder for her. if going to bars and clubs makes my women, dress up and look pretty, i would encourage them to do so, all the time...I like to make other men jealous and other women envious (who's the fugly guy with the hot chick? ;))..because at the end of the night she's coming home with me.
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btw, where is this Hmong club where you can go meet married women out for a little innocent fun? ;D
go to where theking goes, the church!
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I don't find the club/bar scene appealing after or before marriage. There's nothing there other than drinking, dancing, and guys meets girls. You can say it's good for a girls' night out but eventually you'll have guys coming over to bother because that's what people do at clubs/bars..bothering each other, drinking, dancing, etc... That's to be expected. These days some men don't care if you're married.. They say when you entered the club, all women are game.
No matter how supportive a husband claim to be, deep down he's not jumping up for joy. Eventually, if this continues, problem of some kinds will happen.
Also, when you go to a public place like a club, your family, relatives, people you know are there.. and yes, you take the risk of being "misunderstood".. because you go to a place where guys meets girls, guys prey on girls, guys flirts with girls, etc... and what people think of you transfer to your other life outside the club scene. They may look at you differently, treat you differently...
Let's say..I'm not gay but I go to a gay club with my lesbian/gay friends. Eventually, some people will think I'm gay...hahahah something like that.
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I don't find the club/bar scene appealing after or before marriage. There's nothing there other than drinking, dancing, and guys meets girls. You can say it's good for a girls' night out but eventually you'll have guys coming over to bother because that's what people do at clubs/bars..bothering each other, drinking, dancing, etc... That's to be expected. These days some men don't care if you're married.. They say when you entered the club, all women are game.
No matter how supportive a husband claim to be, deep down he's not jumping up for joy. Eventually, if this continues, problem of some kinds will happen.
Also, when you go to a public place like a club, your family, relatives, people you know are there.. and yes, you take the risk of being "misunderstood".. because you go to a place where guys meets girls, guys prey on girls, guys flirts with girls, etc... and what people think of you transfer to your other life outside the club scene. They may look at you differently, treat you differently...
Let's say..I'm not gay but I go to a gay club with my lesbian/gay friends. Eventually, some people will think I'm gay...hahahah something like that.
Unfortunately, that's how narrow minded people think/make false assumptions/spread unfounded rumors especially those that just plain hate the clubs or don't know much about it but they can think all they want in their little bubble. As long as the people that matters are good, it's all good.
That's like saying, you shouldn't attend a Hmong New Year because everyone goes there to just to hook up or you shouldn't attend a Hmong New Year party because everyone goes there just to cheat...And yes, some Hmong New Year's parties and/or Hmong concerts are also held at a "club"...
Open minded people like me will see the fact that not all people go to the club to cheat or to ruin their marriage...Sur e there are people that go there for that purpose but there are also people that go there to hang out with their families and friends or to relax or to celebrate an occasion or etc., ...because fact is, purposes do vary.
As as stalkers or people following you goes, that can happen anywhere too, not just at the clubs...It's a simple fact.
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go to where theking goes, the church!
>:D
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This debate reminds me of hmong men installing fear into their hmong women about dating outside of race.
Nothing is wrong with it but we hmong married men don't want our married women to think that it is ok to do so.
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I have a partner and while I love him a lot. He is by no means my best friend
:idiot2: :2funny: you have no idea what a good relationship is then
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Do you all you want as a single person. ::)
When you get married, you have to be considerate of another person. For hamongs, that may include consideration for his/her immediate family and perhaps their clan. That is the Hmong way, like it or not.
i'm always considerate of my partner, my parents, their reputation, and his parents but that doesn't hinder me from having male friends, going on trips without my partner, and getting drinks with friends while my partner sits at home waiting for me.
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Chicknorris...
So what you're saying is... you wear the pants around the house?
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:idiot2: :2funny: you have no idea what a good relationship is then
actually, i do know what a good relationship is. :)
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actually, i do know what a good relationship is. :)
that's like saying you're in an abusive relationship but you know it's love ;D
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that's like saying you're in an abusive relationship but you know it's love ;D
who the hell decided that your boyfriend/husband/partner has to be your bestfriend in order to be in a "good relationship"?
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who the hell decided that your boyfriend/husband/partner has to be your bestfriend in order to be in a "good relationship"?
when you grow up and matured you will understand what a good relationship is then since you don't know right now. O0
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that's like saying you're in an abusive relationship but you know it's love ;D
people say there's love between two people...but there's no love between two people...it's just mutual benefits between two people.
when there's no more mutual benefits between two people....ther e's no love. Makes sense? O0 O0
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when you grow up and matured you will understand what a good relationship is then since you don't know right now. O0
totes because like right now, my partner isn't my bestie and that means our relationship isn't good. ::) :idiot2:
this line of thinking is pretty much on par with what yax and other folks in here think about being a married woman and going to the bars/club. :idiot2:
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totes because like right now, my partner isn't my bestie and that means our relationship isn't good. ::) :idiot2:
this line of thinking is pretty much on par with what yax and other folks in here think about being a married woman and going to the bars/club. :idiot2:
Including yourself, how many women do you know of who frequents bars and are still on their first marriage? ;)
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people say there's love between two people...but there's no love between two people...it's just mutual benefits between two people.
when there's no more mutual benefits between two people....ther e's no love. Makes sense? O0 O0
True. Human being as intrinsically selfish being. Take you and your wife for example. When you no longer get your basic human "selfish needs" met by her, you'd be dropping her like hot potatoes and vice versa.
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Yes, I admit. Chick has more hair on her legs and chest than I do. :-[ :-\
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totes because like right now, my partner isn't my bestie and that means our relationship isn't good. ::) :idiot2:
this line of thinking is pretty much on par with what yax and other folks in here think about being a married woman and going to the bars/club. :idiot2:
Explain or give us some good reasons for a married person to be hanging around at the night clubs? :idiot2: :idiot2:
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totes because like right now, my partner isn't my bestie and that means our relationship isn't good. ::) :idiot2:
this line of thinking is pretty much on par with what yax and other folks in here think about being a married woman and going to the bars/club. :idiot2:
you're trying so hard to be a feminist that you're ruining your relationship. get a lawyer soon. O0
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chicknorris is pretty a hot girl...
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Explain or give us some good reasons for a married person to be hanging around at the night clubs? :idiot2: :idiot2:
It's already given a few pages back but as usual it's an reading comp issue...
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It's already given a few pages back but as usual it's an reading comp issue...
Yeah..., keep on singing your kumbaya song Mr. Reactive grudge holding soul. ;D
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so you're saying you have a lot of growing up to do still :2funny: :idiot2:
You disregarded the other examples I gave you and clearly I said "Some people not (I) celebrate their 21st Birthday at the bars/clubs" :idiot2:
I for one actually didn't. Instead I had a BBQ at home with a few close friends and my family.
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BD,
Even if your a single Hmong woman and/or even if your husband goes with you to the clubs, haters still gonna hate...That's just how it is in the Hmong community...Un fortunately.
As single Hmong woman, you'll get the "poj Laib" label from some..
As a married couple, you two will get the "married people going to the club is immoral" label from some backward primitives with short sighted narrow views...simply because they either hate the clubs or know nothing about it.
Since being "online" ranked higher than the "clubs" for married people to cheat, I don't know why all those primitives are on here bashing your choice...Can you say HYPOCRITES? ??? ;D
Ehhhh people will say what people think, I could care less as I have my own thoughts and so forth..
But it's not surprising to get a bunch of bashers xD
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I think it is okay if your husband approves. One thing I tend to noticed is, if the guy cousins starts gossiping about you, it'll get to your husband in no time. No matter how much he trust you, those cousins could really brainwash him too.
I've cousins and sisters in laws who are married and goes out. Most, ended up cheating sometimes in their marriage. Even my guy cousins cheated on their wife. Just saying.
It was a buddy of his and yeah my Husband knew I was there and it was actually his buddy speaking to him while I was present
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you're trying so hard to be a feminist that you're ruining your relationship. get a lawyer soon. O0
Wow, so good at knowing what others' situations are and predicting the future for others...But don't bank on it with your entire savings so make sure you use your entire savings (photo below) wisely at the "thrift" store and when buying a super size "43 inch" Ya hear... ;D:
(http://i63.tinypic.com/35hk49c.jpg)
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blogger can you just post your picture.
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I for one actually didn't. Instead I had a BBQ at home with a few close friends and my family.
then why are you in here trying so hard to defend your actions. it's obvious you know what you did is wrong cause you're still trying to tell everyone you're in the right.
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Yeah..., keep on singing your kumbaya song Mr. Reactive grudge holding soul. ;D
And yeah, Keep throwing tantrums like a toddler and foaming at the mouth when others proved you wrong...I mean even your buddy came on board to talk some sense into you but you still can't handle being wrong..And what's worst? You've even admitted that you didn't know what you were talking about...Life of an ignorant primitive I tell you... ;D ;D ;D
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then why are you in here trying so hard to defend your actions. it's obvious you know what you did is wrong cause you're still trying to tell everyone you're in the right.
There goes another reading comp failure..The OP is not here to defend her actions for going to club but simply ask if she being upset with her husband's buddy is wrong or not?
But not surprised that a narrow minded primitive would not comprehend that...
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And yeah, Keep throwing tantrums like a toddler and foaming at the mouth when others proved you wrong...I mean even your buddy came on board to talk some sense into you but you still can't handle being wrong..And what's worst? You've even admitted that you didn't know what you were talking about...Life of an ignorant primitive I tell you... ;D ;D ;D
LOL..., get your mental health problems take care of before it takes care of you, dude. Peace out!
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There goes another reading comp failure..The OP is not here to defend her actions for going to club but simply ask if she being upset with her husband's buddy is wrong or not?
But not surprised that a narrow minded primitive would not comprehend that...
It's all good 😊
I guess everyone skipped the first page lol
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Unfortunately, that's how narrow minded people think/make false assumptions/spread unfounded rumors especially those that just plain hate the clubs or don't know much about it but they can think all they want in their little bubble. As long as the people that matters are good, it's all good.
That's like saying, you shouldn't attend a Hmong New Year because everyone goes there to just to hook up or you shouldn't attend a Hmong New Year party because everyone goes there just to cheat...And yes, some Hmong New Year's parties and/or Hmong concerts are also held at a "club"...
Open minded people like me will see the fact that not all people go to the club to cheat or to ruin their marriage...Sur e there are people that go there for that purpose but there are also people that go there to hang out with their families and friends or to relax or to celebrate an occasion or etc., ...because fact is, purposes do vary.
As as stalkers or people following you goes, that can happen anywhere too, not just at the clubs...It's a simple fact.
I don't think it's narrow minded but being realistic. When you put yourself in a situation or place where people easily misunderstand you - they will. And misunderstandi ng will lead to other things... It is worth the risk? That's where everyone differs.
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Ehhhh people will say what people think, I could care less as I have my own thoughts and so forth..
But it's not surprising to get a bunch of bashers xD
Yep haters that only know what's going on in their little bubble are gonna hate...Even if your husband went with you, some haters are still going to bash both of you by saying things like "you are married, why are you going to the club"..
Just because some go there to cheat on their spouse, they ASSume everyone shares the same purpose... :idiot2:
Because if that were true, we married folks would be cheating right now because going "online" actually ranked higher than going to the "clubs" for cheating...It's a simple fact but don't expect short sighted narrow view primitives to comprehend that..
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LOL..., get your mental health problems take care of before it takes care of you, dude. Peace out!
Get yours fix because it was even beyond your buddy's help...He tried his best but you were still foaming at the mouth.. ;D
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Long story short I grew up in a pretty traditional family.
I was never allowed to go out late, sleep over at friends or relatives. No piercings, no tattoos and crazy colored hair was out of the picture.
So obviously growing up and reaching my early 20's I never drank, partied hard or did any substances of any sort. Never even experienced what a club was until I was 21.
Now from my early 20's reaching to my mid 20's I occasionally will go out with friends to the bars or clubs.
Yes I am married; I never take my ring off. I make it clear I am married when men approach me and my Husband always knows where I am at and whom I am with.
He's doesn't drink and does not like to club and go to the bars.
One time I ran into his buddy, of course I said "Hi."
They always ask where my Husband is and I always give the same response "He's at home, bars and clubbing is not his scene."
Don't get me wrong I don't go out every weekend, but when I do it's always just the girls and there are a few that are indeed married.
Anyways fast forward, my Husband picked me up one night after I was out with my friends and we went out for some late night food and ran into his same buddy. His buddy's response was "Dang, you are one loyal guy, I keep running into your wife and I don't see you ever."
Which I assume is apparently a lot when we have only ran into each other twice and both times my Husband was aware of where and when I was.
I wanted to so badly speak my mind and say "Excuse me? Are you saying I am un-loyal because I am seen without him? And I am sorry you apparently have never heard of something called trust."
But I bit my tongue and did not say a thing.
Was I overthinking or not?
My Husband and I have talked over this matter before and he allows me to go out and hang out with friends. I always ask him if it bothers him that I go to the clubs or bars once in a while and he says no cause he trust me. But I can’t help but also feel bad. I have never cheated or done anything wrong. After a night of going out I always tell him how it went and if men approached me I tell him what happened and how I handled it. I tell him just because we share everything.
Was it wrong of me to be upset his friend said that?
I am just going to ignore everyone else and focus on your post. I'd say you are overthinking it. Unconsciously, you are more worried about the fact that your husband may have a wrong impression on you. If you and your husband really care for each other, than just ignore it. If you keep harboring these thoughts it can stress you out. Besides constantly trying asking us our opinion whether we approve of your emotion, will spark some of us suspicion on you. I am pretty sure you are just being honest with your feelings. No biggie, just let live.
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Happy Friday everyone! ;D
Things seem to be escalating...
I get everyone has their own opinions and so forth, but boy oh boy!!!
Hopefully everyone has a good weekend!
I for one am not going out, cause a lot of you have assumed by now I do all the time!
I actually am going to have a game night in with a few of our friends.
As for the picture of myself pleas just Google up Maggie Q, that should do!
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I am just going to ignore everyone else and focus on your post. I'd say you are overthinking it. Unconsciously, you are more worried about the fact that your husband may have a wrong impression on you. If you and your husband really care for each other, than just ignore it. If you keep harboring these thoughts it can stress you out. Besides constantly trying asking us our opinion whether we approve of your emotion, will spark some of us suspicion on you. I am pretty sure you are just being honest with your feelings. No biggie, just let live.
Yeahhh I guess at that point I was overthinking it.
Yes, I for one have learned from it and from now on we both decided it's best if he goes out with me if need be.
We both just shrugged off what the buddy said, he didn't care much of what the buddy said because he knew where I was and with whom and he's actually the one who makes sure my friends and I are there safe and get home safe.
Either way no means of getting this blown up soooo much but people will be people!
Have a good weekend to you all!
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Man! Look what you guys done!
Always chasing the girls away...
Man... I guess you guys really do just like sausage parties.....
Cheezez....
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I don't think it's narrow minded but being realistic. When you put yourself in a situation or place where people easily misunderstand you - they will. And misunderstandi ng will lead to other things... It is worth the risk? That's where everyone differs.
It is "narrow minded" when you only see it as bad or wrong even though factual evidence says it can be good too depending on the individual...
"realistic" is not all things that happen at the clubs is bad or wrong, not all people that go to the clubs go there to cheat on their spouse, nothing wrong with anyone that is of age to go to the clubs regardless of their marital status, and the purpose/reason to go to the club varies ...
And if they chose to "misunderstood" without facts then it's on them..What "risk"? If your self-esteem is so low and insecurity is that bad that you feel like it's a "risk" when people pass false judgment about you then might as well stop living..And those rumors just doesn't happen the clubs as I've seen happen at Hmong New Years.
Since being "online" is ranked higher than the clubs for married people to cheat, do I care if another person falsely assume I'm cheating just because I'm online"? NOPE!!!
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Including yourself, how many women do you know of who frequents bars and are still on their first marriage? ;)
A lot.
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It's all good 😊
I guess everyone skipped the first page lol
Nah, they just see: Hmong woman and club
And falsely assumed all hell broke lose... ;D
Like I say, even if your husband goes with you to the clubs, haters still gonna bash ...same thing even if you're a single Hmong woman...becaus e narrow minded haters only see the clubs as being bad and wrong..
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Man! Look what you guys done!
Always chasing the girls away...
Man... I guess you guys really do just like sausage parties.....
Cheezez....
Yea bro! F*ck them sausage party thread. We won our ladies back!
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Yeahhh I guess at that point I was overthinking it.
Yes, I for one have learned from it and from now on we both decided it's best if he goes out with me if need be.
We both just shrugged off what the buddy said, he didn't care much of what the buddy said because he knew where I was and with whom and he's actually the one who makes sure my friends and I are there safe and get home safe.
Either way no means of getting this blown up soooo much but people will be people!
Have a good weekend to you all!
Good to hear that you and your husband "shrug" off his buddy's false assumptions... false assumptions/rumors are just that, false.
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It is "narrow minded" when you only see it as bad or wrong even though factual evidence says it can be good too depending on the individual...
"realistic" is not all things that happen at the clubs is bad or wrong, not all people that go to the clubs go there to cheat on their spouse, nothing wrong with anyone that is of age to go to the clubs regardless of their marital status, and the purpose/reason to go to the club varies ...
And if they chose to "misunderstood" without facts then it's on them..What "risk"? If your self-esteem is so low and insecurity is that bad that you feel like it's a "risk" when people pass false judgment about you then might as well stop living..And those rumors just doesn't happen the clubs as I've seen happen at Hmong New Years.
Since being "online" is ranked higher than the clubs for married people to cheat, do I care if another person falsely assume I'm cheating just because I'm online"? NOPE!!!
Even you will misunderstand if you keep running into your married relative(s) at the club. If you don't, you're one of the exceptions but others will misunderstand. Don't believe me, try it. Someone will eventually come up to you and say, "brother, how come I see you here often..is your home ok ahhahaahaha?" Apply these to other areas too... Let's say your family has a gathering...an d you don't show up. They will start calling to find out what's going on... It's being realistic.. when you put yourself in a situation for people to misunderstand, they will. Risk is... be prepare to deal with any misunderstandi ng coming your way. You can't blame people for being narrow minded.. when you have to realize the consequences of your actions. I'm not saying don't do it.. but people need to decide when to compromise. Some things you can compromise and some things you can't and that depends on people.
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Including yourself, how many women do you know of who frequents bars and are still on their first marriage? ;)
Next time you're in Vegas or even the Bay Area or LA, visit the clubs there, I bet you couldn't count all the married women patrons at those establishments with all of your fingers and toes..
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Even you will misunderstand if you keep running into your married relative(s) at the club. If you don't, you're one of the exceptions but others will misunderstand. Don't believe me, try it. Someone will eventually come up to you and say, "brother, how come I see you here often..is your home ok ahhahaahaha?" Apply these to other areas too... Let's say your family has a gathering...an d you don't show up. They will start calling to find out what's going on... It's being realistic.. when you put yourself in a situation for people to misunderstand, they will. Risk is... be prepare to deal with any misunderstandi ng coming your way. You can't blame people for being narrow minded.. when you have to realize the consequences of your actions. I'm not saying don't do it.. but people need to decide when to compromise. Some things you can compromise and some things you can't and that depends on people.
Nope not me because I get the facts first instead of just jumping in assuming this or that. And no, I'm not an exception...Ma ny people also like to get the facts first vs. just falsely assuming this or that..
If someone actually approach me, I will answer their question truthfully. Then I'll ask them why they think there's something wrong at "home" and educate them not to falsely assume but instead to fact check first..
There is no consequences for one's action to go to the club because there's nothing illegal about it. That's like someone saw you online and he/she just assume that you're cheating on your spouse because "Online" is where a lot of married people do the cheating...It ranked second only to work..based on what I saw.
Speaking of work, since it's the most common place for married people to cheat, are you gonna stop going working because you don't want to "risk" other assuming this or that?
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Next time you're in Vegas or even the Bay Area or LA, visit the clubs there, I bet you couldn't count all the married women patrons at those establishments with all of your fingers and toes..
Some areas of this world are better left unvisited. ;)
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Some areas of this world are better left unvisited. ;)
That's exactly my point. If it's not your thing and/or you don't know much about it, going around falsely assuming this or that is not very smart.. ;)
That's as smart as White people falsely assuming all Hmong people are bad because one Vang dude shot a cop yesterday in WI... ;D
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That's exactly my point. If it's not your thing and/or you don't know much about it, going around falsely assuming this or that is not very smart.. ;)
That's as smart as White people falsely assuming all Hmong people are bad because one Vang dude shot a cop yesterday in WI... ;D
I see. So you claim to be an expert with club scenes yet you haven't seen marriages broken by it?
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Like the old saying, "Pom dej dag (see yellow river), siab nqig (liver go down)".. Or in other words, "seeing is believing"...
Some people have to experience it first hand to know, to see, to believe, to understand.. Talking about it might not work.
I admit, certain things in life, I will go down the yellow river in order for liver to go down or I call it going to the moon.. even when I know the world and everyone will call me out for it... still..I'd go if I strongly believe in them.
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ANY married men or women who goes to the club or to any dance party environment without their spouse is looking to hook up. No exceptions!!
This is NOT a narrow minded person's perceptions but the general perceptions.
If you are married you want to go out and dance, take or drag your partner. If your partner doesn't want to go, too bad for you, stay home. We all know that-that kind of scene only lead to change of heart etc..
When this becomes a habit, the heart will slowly fade away.
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I see. So you claim to be an expert with club scenes yet you haven't seen marriages broken by it?
Nope never claim to be an expert but been to the clubs enough times to see various reasons why people go to the clubs. And yes, I've seen marriage broken because people choose to ruin their marriage when they go to the clubs but I've also seen broken marriages because people choose to ruin their marriage when they are at home, at work, at the malls, at church, or even online like what we are doing now so going back to my point, the place don't matter, when cheaters want to cheat, they will cheat anywhere.. It's really a simple fact.
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ANY married men or women who goes to the club or to any dance party environment without their spouse is looking to hook up. No exceptions!!
This is NOT a narrow minded person's perceptions but the general perceptions.
If you are married you want to go out and dance, take or drag your partner. If your partner doesn't want to go, too bad for you, stay home. We all know that-that kind of scene only lead to change of heart etc..
When this becomes a habit, the heart will slowly fade away.
That is totally narrow minded. If you don't think so, feel free to back it up with some legitimate evidence showing "any" married person that goes to the club without his/her spouse only has the sole purpose of "hooking up"..
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And since being online actually ranked higher than the clubs for married people to cheat, based on your view, every married person that goes online also has the sole purpose of "hooking up" right?
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You are what the elders considered bad wife. When you go out to parties without your husband so oftenly, you're not a very good wife to your husband and your husband is probably a really boring nerd too.
Incase you don't know going out to bars and clubs is potential disaster for your marriage especially if you have kids too. Those places will not have any good influences on you only negative.
Good luck...don't become a divorced statistic resulting from that life style.
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If I bump into you at the club ....im probabaly going to talk to you...you kow why? Becuase it always goes like... you'll either like me and keep me all to yourself...or reject me...
Or what usually happens...youl l say..im married...but shes not and point me to your hot single friend!
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let me school you with some knowledge.
why? cause people don't respect marriage no more and do what they want. now knee before before me for proving how silly you are. OP is like that song, girls just wanna have fun and she trying so hard to hide her panties when she gets off on going out and causing trouble. :2funny:
Don't forget that 50% also end in happily ever after. How they get there varies.
It all depends on which clubs are we talking about here. Give me a hmong club where it is known to the hmong community that divorcee is a common occurrence and i will show you a divorcee. Take me to a white party and i can not.
I was at the club last night. 6 women talked to me. 1 claimed married and one said she has a bf but i called her bluff by asking her to introduce me so i can congratulate the guy.
My final verdict is that people goes to club by their own projection. What intention brings you here should be the final verdict. Clubbing don't make you bad or make you a hoee. What you do with it will determines your upbringing or setfall. I always see it like this and as the bible have taught. Play by the sword n die by the sword. Play with the club and be ready to get exposed by the clubbing lifestyle. I've seen it all. Fawk n bj in the club. Passing out cold n groping. Fall face first n broke front teeth. Getting dui dwi. Getting punched n fights and getting shot at. A crow bar to my head lol ending up in a hospital. White guy getting his azz kicked cuz me love you long time don't fly at an azn night club.
The clubbing life is the nightlife and we all heard of lines like the freaks come out at night and sirens are being heard if u play the night life.
If u club enough, you will see it. If you don't then you have not club enough and are blessed that nothing bad has happen to u therefore you are safe. It's still a numbers game so how good is your luck? Keep on clubbing to find out.
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Its all fun and games..but in the end your Hubbie is gonna find himself looking like an idiot when you run off with someone from that bar or club..its like DUH... :idiot2: he ain't the only man in the world.. :knuppel2:
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You are what the elders considered bad wife. When you go out to parties without your husband so oftenly, you're not a very good wife to your husband and your husband is probably a really boring nerd too.
Incase you don't know going out to bars and clubs is potential disaster for your marriage especially if you have kids too. Those places will not have any good influences on you only negative.
Good luck...don't become a divorced statistic resulting from that life style.
Funny cause some of those "elders" have no problem going to Laos to molest 13-14 year old girls and/or bring them back as second/third wives illegally...
There are far more common places for married people to cheat than the clubs as pointed out already i.e., work, online, etc...So it's not so much the place that's a "potential disaster" or the "life style" causing the "divorced statistic" but more so the individual that made the decision to break the bond...And there are enough cases where that decision to break the bond was made right at their own homes.
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let me school you with some knowledge.
why? cause people don't respect marriage no more and do what they want. now knee before before me for proving how silly you are. OP is like that song, girls just wanna have fun and she trying so hard to hide her panties when she gets off on going out and causing trouble. :2funny:
That "50%" stat is common knowledge so not much "schooling" and nothing new from you.
And nope, going out is not even as high as going to work or going online for married people to cheat on their spouse so you missed the simple but factual point of: It's not the place that causes people to cheat but the individual...w hen it comes to married people cheating on their spouse...Again, the place could be a church and cheaters that want to cheat will cheat.
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Its all fun and games..but in the end your Hubbie is gonna find himself looking like an idiot when you run off with someone from that bar or club..its like DUH... :idiot2: he ain't the only man in the world.. :knuppel2:
That reminded me of some OG saying they do not allow their wives to go to work or school because they can run off with someone even if the extra income benefits the family. We used to live near a levee and they won't even allow their wives to go take a walk there due to their insecurity and controlling nature.
Funny thing is when they go to work, a couple of the wives cheated on them in their own bedrooms... ;D
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That's a little extreme. When they want to cheat they will find the way.
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Coronas are just an analogy to your situation. One take-home becomes two. Two becomes three. Three becomes so many more and you're hooked to each other.
Good thing I don't drink Coronas
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Or we could make them feel less guilty by saying someone will find them.
That's a little extreme. When they want to cheat they will find the way.
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That's a little extreme. When they want to cheat they will find the way.
DING, DING, DING!!! O0
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Good morning and how about an update on the OP?
Have your views change or what have you learn or how are you wrong?
I like old threads because I like to read what I wrote in such year and see if I still agree or disagree with myself with the current year. Nothing is set stage in stone. We live to grow or we live to change. O0
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This thread has been a very riveting read. I agree with those that say that if a person wants to cheat, they can cheat FROM ANYWHERE.
I think it's fine to go clubbing/dancing when you are married if you're going for the right reasons (like you're out celebrating with girlfriends or you just love dancing like me!) as long as you know how to fend off the people that come on to you. With that said, however, everything has its limits. Yes, go dancing if you love dancing, but you've got to set a limit, like only go once a year or once every 2-3 years! It's been 7 years for me! We shouldn't go all the time because we all have priorities, a life, a career, etc... but once in a blue moon, it's good to allow your inner carefree personality to come out and live too. I probably won't appreciate people that try to stifle my need to just let go sometimes and people that try to stop my dancing bugs from coming out. People should be allowed to enjoy life how they see fit responsibly. Going to the club should not be an automatic negative. If a girl loves her husband her heart will never waver... even when a hot guy or the guy of her dreams approaches her at the club... she'll just simply look away and keep on dancing. That's how I was!
You just got to not care so much what people think. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."
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Clubbing is an art. It is like this. Some people are made for the club. It fits them so well like if you are from the pretty people group, you don't need to do anything at the club but just show up and look pretty. If this is you, you shouldn't get marry because you are married to the clubbing scene.
It is also like this. Just like genre in music. Some of you hmong be listening to country music and that's fine but there are other people that can not stand country music. Same goes with people who don't enjoy them fast pace dancing machine music. Both types of people can not see each other on an eye to eye level and both will have to agree to disagree when the topic about clubbing comes along.
Those who are against married folks clubbing do not see it on the same level as those who are clubbers themselves. Then again, you have to ask yourself, why am I taking advice from those who are not clubber themselves? It is like taking advices from your own mother who are always in your best interest but are out to ruin your fun as well. :2funny:
There is so much more involved in the whole clubbing culture and too little time to tackle them all.
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Clubbing is an art. It is like this. Some people are made for the club. It fits them so well like if you are from the pretty people group, you don't need to do anything at the club but just show up and look pretty. If this is you, you shouldn't get marry because you are married to the clubbing scene.
It is also like this. Just like genre in music. Some of you hmong be listening to country music and that's fine but there are other people that can not stand country music. Same goes with people who don't enjoy them fast pace dancing machine music. Both types of people can not see each other on an eye to eye level and both will have to agree to disagree when the topic about clubbing comes along.
Those who are against married folks clubbing do not see it on the same level as those who are clubbers themselves. Then again, you have to ask yourself, why am I taking advice from those who are not clubber themselves? It is like taking advices from your own mother who are always in your best interest but are out to ruin your fun as well. :2funny:
There is so much more involved in the whole clubbing culture and too little time to tackle them all.
I get what you're saying about how people see things differently. I see it from the non-clubbers' point of view and I see it from the clubbers' point of view as well. At the end of the day, people just need to agree to disagree and live and let live. If what other people do have no direct impact on your own life... don't think too much or too hard or gossip too much about their actions. Let them live their lives and make their own mistakes, you live your own life and do you.
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This thread has been a very riveting read. I agree with those that say that if a person wants to cheat, they can cheat FROM ANYWHERE.
I think it's fine to go clubbing/dancing when you are married if you're going for the right reasons (like you're out celebrating with girlfriends or you just love dancing like me!) as long as you know how to fend off the people that come on to you. With that said, however, everything has its limits. Yes, go dancing if you love dancing, but you've got to set a limit, like only go once a year or once every 2-3 years! It's been 7 years for me! We shouldn't go all the time because we all have priorities, a life, a career, etc... but once in a blue moon, it's good to allow your inner carefree personality to come out and live too. I probably won't appreciate people that try to stifle my need to just let go sometimes and people that try to stop my dancing bugs from coming out. People should be allowed to enjoy life how they see fit responsibly. Going to the club should not be an automatic negative. If a girl loves her husband her heart will never waver... even when a hot guy or the guy of her dreams approaches her at the club... she'll just simply look away and keep on dancing. That's how I was!
You just got to not care so much what people think. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."
What people who say that don't understand is that, sometimes, it's not the person's intention to cheat nor do they want to but they expose themselves to scenes that tempt them. The more tempted you are, the harder it is to resist. Eventually it happens and they'll find ways to excuse themselves, like "oh, he's been mean to me" etc. If you just avoid the scene all together, you lessen your chances of being tempted to cheat. You think those guys at the bar are just being friendly when they buy you a drink? Don't be so naive.
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That's exactly my point. If it's not your thing and/or you don't know much about it, going around falsely assuming this or that is not very smart.. ;)
That's as smart as White people falsely assuming all Hmong people are bad because one Vang dude shot a cop yesterday in WI... ;D
I see. So you claim to be an expert with club scenes yet you haven't seen marriages broken by it?
Nope never claim to be an expert but been to the clubs enough times to see various reasons why people go to the clubs.
Well, if you don't know much about it, going around falsely assuming this or that isn't very smart.. :2funny:
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What people who say that don't understand is that, sometimes, it's not the person's intention to cheat nor do they want to but they expose themselves to scenes that tempt them. The more tempted you are, the harder it is to resist. Eventually it happens and they'll find ways to excuse themselves, like "oh, he's been mean to me" etc. If you just avoid the scene all together, you lessen your chances of being tempted to cheat. You think those guys at the bar are just being friendly when they buy you a drink? Don't be so naive.
I get what you're saying. I think there are two points that are colliding here.
The first is: People view the club-goer negatively based solely on the club-goer's decision to go clubbing. This is an unfair judgement because the club-goer's decision to go clubbing does not automatically make the club-goer a bad person nor does it automatically mean that there is trouble in paradise if the club-goer goes clubbing. Going clubbing may just be something that the club-goer enjoys doing--because they like dancing, for example. Let me put it this way. If you like and enjoy eating ice cream but I'm a self-appointed health-conscious cop, is it fair of me to think that you're a bad decision maker and you're not smart because if you were smart, you'd know that eating ice cream will make you fat? See. It's not fair for me to judge you so harshly, when maybe you're eating ice cream to celebrate a huge life achievement or maybe you're eating ice cream because you feel really sad and just needed the ice cream to cheer you up. In conclusion, whether you go clubbing or eat ice cream--these things do not make you a bad person if you choose to do them. But there will be people that will judge you just because you decide to do one or the other of these things. People need to get a life.
The second is: There is genuine concern from the non-club goers for the club-goers because of temptation. Temptation is a real thing. The more you expose yourself to temptation, the higher the chances that you might not be able to resist it. So, if you were a married person, putting yourself in a tempting situation (such as being at a club with lots of people that use the club scene as a way to pick up guys/girls), might be a potential risk to your marriage should you fail to resist the temptations found at the club. This is a genuine concern and one that I agree with. But, I'm sure the OP understands this, hence, her wanting her husband to tag along and her limiting herself from going clubbing so frequently.
With all that said, a third point to make, which theking already stated numerous times, is that the non-club goers should factor in that temptation can be found anywhere and not just at the club. So, if non-club goers are going to judge a club-goer so harshly, non-club goers should understand that the club is just one place of temptation, there are tons more, even more harmful ones. Like online, social media, at the grocery store, walking/jogging in the park and saying hi to another jogger who compliments you on your tennis shoes, at work (liking your co-workers), at a restaurant sitting across from the guy or girl of your dreams and making flirty eye contact with them, at the mall accidentally bumping into the guy/girl of your dreams, etc!
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In thunderdome... not only are there bars and clubs...but there's chainsaws and axes...crossbo ws and swords.
So if I show up with a fishing pole...I will be tempted by a spear or bo... O0